The Glass House
by mellomarie
Summary: SasuSaku. AU. Sasuke wished he had the strength, the idiocy, the humility to say he didn’t want her to stop loving him. But Sasuke was none of those things, and Sakura knew that too. So he said nothing.
1. lonely hearts like new

**The Glass House**

_lonely hearts like new _

Sakura wiped the rest of the grime on the dark-haired man's face and stared at him wistfully. He really was a handsome man—he seemed to teeter on the fateful last days of boyhood, if she was being precise—a bit of an aristocratic look, regal. She felt like a creep, but Sakura was lonely and she thought that was a good enough excuse, at least for the time being.

"I wonder what happened to you," Sakura murmured, her hands touching the skin of his cheek lightly, "why were you out there, all by yourself?"

Sakura sighed, rubbing her face tiredly. She felt a bit embarrassed about her less than prolific home; it was quaint (impossibly small) and the walls never seemed strong enough for the wild winds that seemed to frequent. It was pathetic to say, but the wind seemed to be a comfortable reassurance for her—especially during the nights where the deafening silence would encompass her with a deep running fear. She didn't like being lonely, and the silence seemed to be a constant reminder.

This man-boy was here though, and his soft and impassive face filled a void and made her chest feel full, a feeling she hadn't felt…in a really, _really_ long time. She didn't even know his name, or where he was from, or why he was hurt or how he got hurt—but she would help him because he was the only person she had.

"I'm more pathetic than I thought," Sakura said, the loud wind her only reply, "and I guess talking to myself doesn't really help."

Talking to out-loud sort of did help though, in a therapeutic way at least. Sometimes the sound of the wind wasn't enough of a solace, and a human voice was the only thing to keep her relatively sane. The idea doesn't bother her anymore, she realises that a lot of things are necessary when you're by yourself in a town with people who literally seethed in anger at the sight of you.

"I wonder what your voice sounds like," Sakura hummed, wrapping a clean bandage around his forehead, "I think it will be soft, and velvety. You seem like a quiet person."

He didn't reply, but Sakura was used to the silence anyway.

* * *

Sakura would read to him—her books were tattered and worn, but Sakura didn't mind re-reading them. Besides, it felt a bit different reading to somebody, subconsciously assuming that they would be listening.

Most of them were medical textbooks; pages upon pages of obscure and not-so-obscure diseases, and Sakura read them aloud, some words sounding funny on her lips. She looks up at him sometimes, and sees his expression hard and his skin like glass. She wonders if he smiles when awake.

She wonders if she reads loud enough will the illusion of her fantasy break.

* * *

When Sasuke woke up a shiver immediately runs up his spine. He sits upright abruptly, surveying his surroundings, a feverish anxiety building in the pit of his stomach. He sees his sword titled innocently to his right beside the rest of his things, and he quickly grabs it, a scowl forming on his face.

He tries to get up, but pain sears through his abdomen, and he quietly lets out a groan. He looks down at his front and watch blood seep through the perfectly wrapped bandages around his waist.

Ignoring the pain, Sasuke steadies himself and gets up from the matt, scanning the area forebodingly.

And then his eyes meet the back of a girl with obnoxiously pink hair, humming quietly to herself.

He scowls, treading carefully towards her, his sword already raised in front of him. The closer he gets to her, he realises that the girl is probably a civilian, foolishly humming and leaving a stranger unattended. Her hindsight worked perfectly to his advantage.

But the girl turns around much too soon; her eyes widened in fear as the bowl in her hands shatters to the floor.

Before Sakura realised what was happening, a blade was pressed against her neck, with Sasuke breathing harshly behind her. He was a solid force behind her although she felt a warm wetness against her back. She concluded that it was his blood, but fear was the only thing preventing her from saying a word.

"Who are you?" Sasuke asks harshly, his ragged breathing lightly touching her ear.

"I'm a nurse," Sakura replies, her eyes warningly watching the blade.

"From where?"

"I have no affiliation to any village."

Sakura watches the tension of his grip on the sword starts to wane although it was still in front of her—at the very least he didn't find her a threat.

"How did you find me?"

Sakura's voice hitches unevenly in her throat, "In front of my doorstep, covered in snow. If I hadn't found you then, you would have died from hypothermia and blood loss."

The sword completely falters, and Sakura breathes out in relief. She turns around hesitantly and sees the sword hanging limply from his arm, a tired sigh escaping his lips. _He almost looks disappointed, _she thinks, a frown playing at her lips.

Sasuke suddenly staggers back and Sakura dashes to grab his arm, her hold firm.

"You're very dizzy…don't over-exert yourself," Sakura murmurs worriedly.

He eyes her warily, before harshly releasing his arm from her grip, and sitting himself on the bed mat. Sakura watches him frown, observing her rather scant property, his eyes floating across a pile of blankets to the steaming pot of tea she had been making. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder why the foolish girl was living by herself and helping a stranger, very well risking her life.

"Why did you help me?" Sasuke asks bitterly, as Sakura stared at him, slightly taken aback.

"Because you were hurt," Sakura says simply, a small smile playing at her lips. Sasuke feels a bit overwhelmed at the sight of her eyes—full of an emotion he couldn't possibly decipher.

"Don't you fear for your life?" Sasuke asks scathingly.

Sakura walked slowly towards him, her hands slowly lifting to push back the wet bangs from his face.

"I've grown to not fear a lot of things," Sakura murmured.

Suddenly, Sasuke head snapped up and grabbed her wrist harshly. Sakura quickly notes that it was only a reflex, judging from the confused expression on his face. Sakura lifted her hands from his hair, her eyes slightly watering.

She'd grown comfortable to his presence, but that didn't mean the same for him.

"How does helping me benefit you?" He finally asks his eyes hardening.

_He doesn't trust me, _Sakura thinks, _how foolish could I possibly be to think otherwise? _

"It doesn't. If I have the power to help, then I should use it."

He seems satisfied with her answer, his eyes hesitantly softening, although the scowl never completely leaves.

But Sakura isn't satisfied; she knows that deep down inside it's also because she is lonely.

* * *

**A/N:**

Finally! A multi-chaptered SasuSaku :D I've actually been planning this one with a lot of thought in mind, rather than posting a half-assed story with basically no plot, so at least I have a bit of plot! I know that a lot of things don't make sense, like why the hell is Sakura living in a scanty house, or why is Sasuke in front of her doorstep, and why the hell is he injured, etc. etc. but that's pretty much on purpose. This fic is different than my usual stuff but I hope it's well-received! This is probably not a long fic, like maybe fifteen or so chapters? Although I tend to say that and things go about differently. Either way, please review! I hope you guys liked it.


	2. empty my head of your smile

_I'm going to be kunoichi…Ino-chan_

_Can you handle it Sakura?_

_Kunoichi…really?_

_You aren't strong enough, Sakura._

_I'm going to be strong…like Otou-san_

_Sakura-chan is all grown up!_

_To be strong…I want to be strong…_

_I want to…_

…_.protect._

* * *

**The Glass House**

_empty my head of your smile_

* * *

She's always doing something. Always busy. Sasuke cannot recall a moment where Sakura was sitting down and looking remotely relaxed. She'd be cleaning, dusting, reading heavy textbooks, wiping windows, cooking, and talking, talking _talking_.

She'd talk of aimless silly things, her words always cheerful, and Sasuke had a hard time figuring out whether or not it was a charade. He finds it difficult to believe a person can be happy while living in a rickety house all by themselves in a cold, remote and snowy village.

Sasuke sighs, running a hand through his hair. Even with all the talking she was doing, she never once asked anything pertaining to him or who he was. He couldn't help but wonder if she was curious about him, if she was scared. As foolish and naïve she seemed to be, Sasuke doesn't understand her. He can't understand her at all.

It's a realisation that bothers him.

_She hardly seems interesting, _Sasuke thinks bitterly, _a foolish civilian girl._

And yet she was all he could think about. Sasuke scowls in her direction, feeling more frustrated by the second.

Sasuke shifts his thoughts to his own problems, his own secrets. He wonders if she knows anything. Was he really just in front of her doorstep? Left to die?

He knows the only way he can find the answers to his questions is to ask her, but Sasuke can reluctantly admit that he's much too stubborn to ask anybody anything, let alone a stupid girl who killed the time by washing dishes obsessively.

No. She'll talk to him about important matters soon enough.

He could wait.

* * *

"If you had met a witch, and she could grant anything you've ever wanted, what would you ask her?"

Sasuke eyed her, flabbergasted, "What?"

"Just answer the question. It isn't too difficult," Sakura crouched beside him, staring at him intently.

"And she can grant anything I want?"

Sakura nodded, grinning impishly, "There's no rules. Anything!"

Sasuke frowned, "Then what's the point if it isn't realistic?"

"You're thinking about it too much," Sakura retorted, her hands folded behind her back, "You don't have to be so anal."

"I'm not anal."

Sakura giggled, "You are. I always catch you smoothing about your blankets and you always seem to put everything in an orderly fashion."

Sasuke glared at her, feeling irritated, "If I'm anal, then you're an obsessive cleaner."

Sakura waved a dismissive hand, "I already know that! Now, answer the question."

Sasuke felt miffed. She didn't even feel the least bit offended by his comment. Why was he even partaking in her stupid talk? What did it accomplish?

"I'd want power."

Sakura hummed, processing his answer, "I never got an answer like that. Why power?"

"I thought it wasn't realistic?"

Sakura smiled, "You're right. It's not realistic…but there's always a reason."

"Who wouldn't want power? You can accomplish great things and fulfill every goal you can possibly dream."

"No," Sakura retorted, "power can't give you love, it can't give you happiness."

Sasuke snorted derisively, "What can love and happiness accomplish? Nothing. That's such idealistic garbage. I don't hear amazing people get where they are because of love and happiness—it only stems them; prevents them from reaching their goals."

She was pouting, her hands folded in front of her, "You're pretty cynical, you know that?"

"I'd rather be cynical than a naïve fool."

An awkward silence had settled between them; Sakura with her fidgeting hands in front of her, looking lost in thought while Sasuke stared at her impassively, a bit surprised that he finally shut her up.

"Why do you talk about such stupid things anyway?" Sasuke asked, scrutinising her. Sakura looked taken aback, flushing under his intense gaze.

"It keeps my mind off thoughts that are less than pleasant," Sakura answered simply before she smiled awkwardly and added, "Your company helps too."

Sasuke nodded, surprised at her admission. He didn't think she'd be so honest with him, then again she seemed too trusting…a trait that would eventually be her undoing if she wasn't careful.

"But you're right, it is stupid. I've been talking about silly things and I don't even know your name!"

Sakura held out her hand, grinning, "I'm Sakura."

He takes her hand, his grip surprisingly soft. It was a definite contrast to the grip he had when he was threatening her with a sword at her neck.

"Sasuke."

She was smiling happily, staring at their joined hands almost in fascination. She looked like a complete idiot, and Sasuke couldn't help but smirk in bemusement. What a simple-minded girl…to get this happy over shaking hands?

"I hope…we can be friends," Sakura whispered, staring at him earnestly, "I know you probably find me a bit annoying—"

"A bit?"

Sakura glowered at his arrogant smirk, "Not necessary. I was making a heartfelt speech."

"Aa. Continue."

Sakura huffed, her cheeks tinted red, "Regardless of how annoying you find me, I still don't want you to hate me."

Sasuke sighed, "It'd be too bothersome to hate you."

Sakura smiled gleefully, her hands folded behind her back, "Good. I'm glad."

It was almost like she had a multiple-personality disorder. Wasn't she angry a second or two ago?

"I'll go make us some food."

Sasuke watched her practically skip out of his room, sighing in frustration. She really was an enigma. He'd never spoken to somebody quite as much as her, and yet he still didn't know a single thing about her….

…and here he was _again_ thinking about her; back to square one.

Bothersome, indeed.

* * *

"Sleep on the mat, Sasuke-kun."

"No."

Sakura fumbled with her words, looking agitated. Sasuke thinks she looks rather silly, with her obnoxious hair and her bottle green eyes, and trying (and failing) to look peeved. He wondered if anybody ever took her seriously, it was definitely difficult for him.

"You're hurt and the mat will be more comfortable for you," She insisted, her hands at her hips.

"My wounds hardly bother me so _you_ sleep on the mat."

She opened her mouth to refute once more, but Sasuke interrupts her, "Stop being annoying and listen."

Sakura sighed, and walks over to a pile of blankets to make a makeshift bed for him. She stared out the window forlornly, as she folded the blankets neatly. Clearly she was lost in thought, it was one of the few times Sasuke caught her looking remotely solemn.

She abruptly turned around, apparently out of her reverie, "Are you sure your wounds don't hurt?"

"Yes," Sasuke sighed.

Nodding, although she didn't look completely satisfied, Sakura sat herself on the mat, still warm from when he was sitting on it earlier. Sasuke eases himself on the makeshift bed, and Sakura couldn't help but think the light of the lamp made him look more ethereal than usual. It had been a long time since she could look at him like this, catching him unawares. The last time was when he was unconscious.

Why did it seem like such a long time ago?

Sakura's yes had catched the scars that adorned Sasuke's back, and she couldn't help but cringe, "Do you want me to heal them?"

Sasuke eyed her, "Heal what?"

"Your scars."

"How can you do that?" Sasuke asked, flatly, "You're just a civilian nurse."

"I was taught by a teacher who was familiar with med-nin training."

He watched her carefully, and Sakura couldn't help but think that he didn't quite believe her. He eventually nodded curtly.

Drawing herself closer, Sakura couldn't fight the blush that had risen on her cheeks once she caught sight of his back. She didn't understand why she was acting like an idiot; she'd seen him half-naked before! Then again, he wasn't conscious then so perhaps that played a part. He was staring at her expectantly, and Sakura resolutely dropped her gaze.

Sakura hesitantly laid her fingers across the broad surface of his skin, surprised of the warmth that it emitted. Sasuke flinched under her touch, and Sakura quickly removed her fingers from her skin. Sakura knew his reaction was normal though, after all, why wouldn't he be wary of her? Gradually, the tension of his muscles loosened and Sakura tried once more to touch him. He didn't flinch or cower this time, and Sakura took it as a small victory, beginning the healing process. Eventually he'd get used to her. Eventually her touch would be normal. Sakura let her eyes scan his back and the sheer number of scars made her sick to her stomach, and a part of her wanted to ask him how he got each and every one, to learn the history behind them. She quickly quelled the desire; Sakura knew she had no place in asking him anything.

How could she, when she was so resistant to do the same?

The silence felt awkward, and Sakura felt the irritating need to fill it.

"Do you remember what happened? Do you remember how you got hurt?"

Sasuke frowned, "I'm a shinobi. It comes with the job."

Sakura smiled softly, "I deduced as much from the sight of your clothes and sword. But do you know who did it?"

"It was during a mission, and I dealt with the opponent accordingly," Sasuke answered smoothly.

"I wish I were as strong as you," Sakura confides, with a small murmur. Sasuke cannot see her face, but he can imagine that the natural glow in her face would perhaps be subdued…he could imagine her frowning.

"You should be more proud of your ability to heal," Sasuke retorted flatly, "If you lived where I was from, you'd be quite the medical ninja."

Sakura flushed at his words, regardless of how skewed the compliment really was. It was nice to know that he thought of her as strong…that he thought her ability was something to be proud of.

"Thank you," Sakura said, her voice ringing with a feeling Sasuke found slightly incomprehensible. It was a heartfelt admission, and it was words that she clearly meant. She truly was an enigma—an irritatingly perplexing enigma.

And when Sasuke's eyelids began to grow heavy, and he feels an odd sense of calm, he realises the true enigma is why her words effected him at all.

* * *

A/N: Another chapter, and it's fairly quick too! Here's hoping the updates keep up. I adored all of the reviews, seriously. I'm glad you guys like the story so far!

And as for **MusicLuva's **question, well that's actually a plot point :D So I can't really answer it yet.

I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and please leave a review if you can!


	3. wind through the open window

_They say his brother killed his family._

_He wants to kill his brother._

_The poor child…he's completely wrecked._

_He wants to avenge his clan._

_It isn't right…children shouldn't be so bloodthirsty._

_He's too far gone, they should lock him up._

_You can't be a shinobi, Uchiha-san._

_You can't. _

* * *

**The Glass House**

_wind through the open window_

* * *

Sakura bit her lip, furiously scrubbing at Sasuke's robe with her dishcloth and realising, to no avail, that rubbing her hands raw wasn't going to do the trick. She pursed her lips, her eyes scanning the tough blood stain as she felt annoyance settle at the pit of her stomach. Turning on the tap, Sakura dipped Sasuke's robe into the cold water, her fingers lightly grazing the stains.

Her eyes had suddenly caught sight of some emblem settled under the collar of his robe; Sakura tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ears, as she lowered her head, to get a better look.

It was a fan, colored red and white, and disturbingly the insignia looked familiar. She couldn't put her finger on why, and she lightly traced it, as if touching it would somehow prompt a memory.

Her mind drew a blank.

_I've seen it before, _Sakura thought, her eyebrows creased in uneasiness, _but from where?_

"What are you doing?"

Sakura nearly jumped, her eyes widening as she caught sight of Sasuke, his arms at his side, and his fists clenched. His eyes were hard, his lips in a hard line. Sakura couldn't help but shiver involuntarily. Although they had known each other for nearly two weeks, Sasuke's face told another story. He somehow looked more distant than the time they first met.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked again, nearing her, his eyes narrowed dangerously.

Sakura forced a smile, the damp robe between her hands making her feel even colder, "Nothing Sasuke-kun, I was just cleaning your robe."

He stared at her, his eyes carrying a hint of disbelief, "The bloodstains won't go; unless you have detergent."

Sakura nodded, unable to contain her relief. However her mind was still wracking from the absurdity of it all—why would Sasuke look and sound so defensive? What had she done wrong?

"I've run out of supplies, but I thought I could make do with what I had," Sakura sighed, "I suppose a trip is in order regardless of the snow."

"Does the snow ever stop?"

"No," Sakura sighed once more before she tentatively smiled, "But you'll get used to it eventually, Sasuke-kun."

She tilts her head towards the window, and silently walked towards it. She lifted her arms to push the beige curtains to the side, and pressed her face against the cool glass, her breath making it foggy. Sasuke watched her, in quiet interest. She looked utterly ridiculous, her fingers spread against the glass, her eyes peering out the window.

"I really don't want to go out though," Sakura moaned, "It'd be nice if the weather decided to cooperate once in awhile."

"I thought you said you'd eventually get used to the snow?" Sasuke intoned, an eyebrow raised.

"Eventually being the keyword, Sasuke-kun," Sakura clarified, "And getting used to it doesn't necessarily mean that I like it."

Sasuke shrugged, "I suppose I can agree. Although I have gotten used to your incessant chat, I still find it annoying."

Sakura glared at him forebodingly, "It's not wise to test your caretaker."

"I find it difficult to believe that you'd throw me out," Sasuke murmured, although he was smirking. Sakura glowered, irritated because she knew that he was right. Sakura would never throw him out, and he knew it

"That's only because I'm a very kind-hearted person," Sakura replied, her cheeks reddening, "You should be more grateful, Sasuke-kun."

Sakura raised her face away from the windowpane, brushing down her shorts. She glared out the window once more (Sasuke had noticed that she treated everything as though it were alive…and he could hardly comprehend the logic behind it), before haphazardly stomping toward her closet, her face haggard.

"So you're going?" Sasuke asked, watching her slide into her black coat clumsily, her hair skittering across her face.

"Yes, I don't really have much of a choice," Sakura muttered, wrapping a thick scarf around her neck.

"I'm going as well."

Sakura stopped her hurried dressing, her eyes widening, "What? You're not going! You're injured."

"I have my own errands to attend to as well."

"I can get them for you," Sakura pressed, her hands rigid at her sides. Clearly she was troubled, but Sasuke never took a liking to being mothered. He was perfectly fine, a tad sore, but Sakura was an efficient healer.

That, Sasuke could admit grudgingly.

At least in his head.

"I'm not invalid," Sasuke snapped, "I can still walk."

"I'm just worried, is all," Sakura said, despondent.

"Then you're worrying unnecessarily."

Sakura's features went slack, looking defeated. She began to rummage through her closet once more, before pulling out a long dark coat, nearly her size. It was woolly, tired with age, but Sakura was holding it almost delicately in her hands.

"It's old, a bit dusty…but it was my father's, and I think it is good enough," Sakura murmured hesitantly, "for now."

Sasuke took it from her, his grip on the coat slightly frail in comparison his usual tendency to be brash with everything because something in her eyes told him to. He slung the coat around his shoulders, Sakura—biting her bottom lip nervously—was quick to fix the collar and brush off lingering dust. Her eyes were shining, and Sasuke didn't question.

It was a silent agreement not to question—a mutual agreement.

"It's good enough," Sasuke said, firmly, resolute. His warm breath tickled her cheeks.

Sakura smiled, heartened.

* * *

Sakura irritably tucked in her billowing scarf, as the cold wind bit her cheeks. Sasuke was walking impassively in front of her, his hands stuffed in his pockets, and walking in a long stride. A languid silence was between them, and Sakura (desperately) had tried to fill up the silence with cheerful (empty) talk, but it was a mute effort. Sasuke remained stoic most of the time, and her talk increasingly began to sound more and more one-sided.

His grunting could only go so far.

Hastening her steps, Sakura stared defeated at his receding back. Why was he so distant? She sometimes felt like she was shouldering their relationship, like a burden.

Sakura looked up, only to see that Sasuke had walked quite the distance while she was lost in thought and quickly scrambled to catch up.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called, panting, "Wait up!"

Sasuke stopped walking, lifting his head up to regard her carefully, as a taut frown touched his features.

"Don't yell," He said, annoyed, "It's undignified."

He still had waited, his head bowed down and his hands stuffed in his pockets. He was always full of contradictions, saying one thing and doing another. It was an assurance though, an odd one at best.

Sakura finally caught up, her back bent as she tried regain her breath, hands at her knees. When she lifted her head, she noticed that Sasuke was still frowning, although that didn't stop her from smiling brightly in return.

"I don't remember giving the impression that I was dignified, Sasuke-kun."

He rolled his eyes, resuming his lazy stroll, "No, but it's advice you should take."

"I think you're graceful enough for the both of us," Sakura replied, grinning, "I can imagine you smaller with books stacked on top of your head. It's so funny."

"Rid yourself of the image, then."

Sakura waved her hand dismissively, "No, I think I quite enjoy the mental image."

A ghost of a smile had appeared on his lips, "I wouldn't announce that to people. About your amusing mental images, that is"

Sakura smiled good-naturedly, "But I wouldn't announce that to just anybody, though. In reality, you're probably the only person I'd tell."

She was being overly familiar, although Sasuke had used that excuse for anything that had made him uncomfortable. So Sasuke had nodded, hesitant—almost abashed.

He turned his gaze away from her, scanning the lined shops inquisitively. None of the shops were open, and the street they inhabited was completely empty, save for them. While the village was small, Sasuke found it odd that nobody would be outside.

A faint rustle made Sasuke crane his neck to the right, his eyes meeting a stocky man whose hands were lightly touching the opening sign. He glared at him defiantly, before turning the sign over, the blinds rolling shut. Narrowing his eyes, Sasuke rounded towards the shop.

"Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke rapped the door lightly, feeling Sakura's worried stare.

"The shop is closed, Sasuke-kun. Why are you knocking the door?"

"Because the man closed the shop once he got a look of us."

Sakura lowered her head, her face completely void of her earlier cheeriness. She lightly tugged on his shirt, directing him away from the door.

"Let's go, Sasuke-kun," Sakura murmured softly, "I can always come tomorrow."

"I didn't come out here for nothing."

Sakura sighed, "They won't open the door, so we should just head back."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, his voice laced with contempt.

"I don't know."

"You're lying," Sasuke said, flatly.

Sakura bit her lip, before she shakily said, "They…they don't like me much. The villagers, that is."

While she was annoying, and a tad chatty, she wasn't an unpleasant person. She was an adequate enough nurse, and her cheerfulness had to be infectious to some.

Sasuke continued to knock on the door, a bit more firmly as Sakura lightly chastised him, her words flimsy to his ears. Finally, the stocky man slightly opened the door, peering at them suspiciously.

"Why are you knocking? Can't you see the sign?" The man bellowed, glancing at Sakura with a noticeable distaste.

"You closed the shop once you saw us," Sasuke retorted, waspishly. From the corner of his eye, he could see Sakura's faltering stare, as she rubbed her arms—from the cold or the dismal atmosphere, he wasn't sure. The man in front of him regarded him coldly, and sighed in discontent as he eased the door open.

Sasuke walked in, surveying the small shop and decided that the owner had nothing to be haughty about. Sakura was still standing by the front door, looking nervous.

"Get your things, Sakura." Sasuke murmured, disappearing behind some shelves. Sakura watched the owner turn towards her, giving her another disgusted frown.

Sakura sighed.

_You don't get it Sasuke-kun._

* * *

When Sasuke and Sakura had left the shop, the owner had merely narrowed his eyes at them, not daring to lower his gaze until they were out of sight. Sasuke wasn't expecting a warm goodbye, so it wasn't much of a surprise. He turned to look at Sakura noticing that her eyes were downcast, as the small bag in her left hand swung lightly.

"You weren't kidding when you said the villagers didn't like you," Sasuke muttered, softly snorting.

Sakura smiled awkwardly, "No. No I wasn't."

He frowned, "Do you get much business, then?"

Sakura walked stiffly beside him, her hands nervously touching the loose stands of her hair. She always had odd habits, and Sasuke felt increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that he noticed them at all.

"Not really," She finally replied, shrugging.

"Why? You're a competent enough nurse."

Sakura giggled, her cheeks tinting red, "I think you're giving me too much credit, Sasuke-kun."

He shrugged, dismissively, "I'm stating a fact."

Sakura smiled once more, her shoulder lightly touching his. She looked a bit upset, although Sasuke couldn't figure out why. He supposed knowing the fact that barely anybody could tolerate you was not a pleasing thought. She tried very hard to act like everything was okay; an intricate façade fooling everybody but herself.

"I'm glad you're here, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, before grinning, "Plus, you're great at intimidating people."

Sasuke regarded her carefully; suddenly aware that she always talked as though he'd be with her forever. She spoke with a familiarity he found odd, bizarre. But he knew it was a comfort for her, something to make the façade just a bit more real, a bit more elaborate. It was a comfort he couldn't bear to take from her.

It was the first of many comforts he couldn't take away from her.

* * *

**A/N: **

First, and foremost, thanks sooo much for all the lovely reviews, especially those concering IC-ness. I'm glad it's okay! Also, I'd like to mention that my reviews for next week will be non-existent due to my exams.

I'll get to pm replies and other shiz as soon as I can! Please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter. Thanks!


	4. miss you like you were mine

Sakura…

_Sakura….is it? _

_Yes._

_You don't look very strong._

_I know. _

_Then explain why you are here._

_I want to fix my past mistakes._

_Guilt? You don't heal people with guilt._

_No…but you can heal people with determination…_

…_and I have that, Tsunade-sama._

* * *

**The Glass House**

_miss you like you were mine_

* * *

Sasuke rubbed the sleep from his eyes, shivering slightly as he unwound from the blankets around him. He didn't think he'd ever get used to the cold, and the blankets were never sufficient enough. Sasuke wasn't about to mention his dissatisfaction, especially since Sakura seemed more than fine to sleep through the cold.

Pride was always a difficult thing to swallow.

Looking out the window, Sasuke dimly realised that it was still late into the night. The sky looked empty, his eyes not akin to the lack of falling snow. It almost looked picturesque, almost perfect.

_Almost like home._

Sasuke frowned, disturbed at the fleeting thought. He hadn't thought of home in the longest time, he barely thought of his past. It was an unnecessary distraction…it did nothing but remind him.

Sasuke didn't want to be reminded—there was something foreboding, he thought, of being reminded of happier times.

Sighing, Sasuke eased himself off of the bundled blankets, his bare feet meeting the cold planks. He turned to look at where Sakura normally slept, only to see that she was gone, barely any sign of her being there.

He walked impassively towards the front door, slightly ajar. Pulling it open, Sasuke saw Sakura sitting on the doorsteps, her knees pulled close to her chest, and her hair billowing softly in the wind. A blanket was wrapped loosely around her shoulders, her eyes staring blankly ahead of her. He could tell she was thinking, despite her saying that she never liked to think much to begin with.

Sasuke could relate; he had those moments too.

He sat himself beside her, close enough to see her entwined hands shake lightly, but far enough to feel remotely comfortable. Her eyes were still fixed ahead of her, her mouth slightly agape.

"The stars…they're pretty, aren't they?" She murmured softly.

Sasuke didn't think the stars were anything special, but he could understand her sentiment. It was rare indeed—in the month or so he was here—to see a clear sky, stars visible.

"I suppose so."

Sakura smiled, "You learn to appreciate it. The stars and everything like it."

Sasuke nodded, his eyes not fixed at the sky, but at her. He often wondered how she had the ability to smile despite her living conditions. He always said it was naïve of her, stupid. He couldn't help but think that maybe he was wrong all along.

"Do you sometimes wish you weren't alive?"

Sasuke stared at her, slightly shocked. She hardly seemed to comprehend her question, her eyes still ahead of her, her cheeks bright red from the cold.

(_Blank eyes, a pool of blood; his mother's parted lips, his father's matted hair—_

_Why did you do this, Aniki?_

_Why?)_

"Aa," Sasuke mumbled, his hands slightly shaking—he liked to think it was from the cold, but Sasuke knew it was more than that.

Sakura nodded her eyes glassy, "We have more similarities than differences, Sasuke-kun."

"No," Sasuke retorted, sharply.

"No?" Sakura echoed, almost in a sigh. She seemed disappointed, something Sasuke thought he didn't understand. But he did—she wanted to be like him, relate to him. He was like that once.

"Your heart—"

Sakura turned to stare at him, her eyes trained intently on his face.

"—you have one," Sasuke finished, unaware of the tremor in his toneless voice, "and that's difference enough."

* * *

Taking advantage of Sasuke sleeping, Sakura slowly walked out of the bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. She walked steadily towards the kitchen, opened up the drawer to her right and pulled out a photo—a folded memory—wrinkled and tired with age. Her finger lightly grazed a coarse edge, her eyes instinctively watering. She saw herself—a younger Sakura, smiling softly. She saw messy sun-kissed hair, a grin larger than life, and shiny blue eyes. She saw a blonde girl, standing prim with neatly tied hair, but eyes that were smiling with a radiance only the girl's eyes were capable of.

_Naruto….Ino…_

Something rattled hollowly in her chest, as tears began to roll down her cheeks, painfully swallowing past the lump in her throat. She wanted the pain to stop; she wanted to stop missing them. But she couldn't simply forget. She couldn't lock away memories—painful, happy, _bloody_ memories—because she couldn't stand the feeling of shame that would rise up her throat and make her crumple up in a pathetic ball. She knew that forgetting was failing, and failing was the last thing she'd ever do.

_I'm tired of failing everybody—I'm tired of failing myself._

Sakura thought Sasuke would be enough to quell the loneliness. He did, temporarily. When she was physically by his side, she felt whole. But during moments like these, where the empty silence was her only condolence, Sakura realised that she couldn't ever rid herself of the loneliness—Sasuke wasn't capable of that.

But his monosyllabic words, and his taunting, and his half-smiles were enough, and Sakura couldn't help but wonder why. If it wasn't filling the loneliness, what was it then? What was this feeling that made her whole and happy and _complete_ only when he was around?

Sakura wanted to say it was love. She wanted to say it was _true love_. But she knew she was fickle, and she knew that her loneliness ran deeper than she thought.

"Sakura?"

Sakura hastily turns around; meeting Sasuke's slightly widened eyes. Sakura quickly wiped away her tears, and rubbed her damp cheeks, smiling nervously. This was the last thing that she'd ever want to happen—she'd never want Sasuke to catch her in a moment of weakness.

"Are you crying?" He asked hesitantly, more in a curious fashion than kind.

"No…I'm fine," Sakura placated her voice slightly shrill. She quickly put the photo into the drawer again, and threw her arms behind her back.

"Stop lying," Sasuke flatly replied, eyes narrowed.

"I just had a silly moment, Sasuke-kun. It's nothing to worry about."

"I'm not worried," Sasuke snapped, but the tension around his eyes evidently subsided. Sakura smiled fondly at him, and calmly asked if he wanted anything particular for breakfast.

"Not really."

Sakura nodded, opening up the cupboards only to realise that there was barely anything left. Sighing, she walked towards the closet and whipped out her jacket, as Sasuke watched her with a keen eye.

"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun, but there's barely anything left. I'm going to have to go shopping."

"Didn't you buy things a week ago?"

Sakura's cheeks reddened, as she bit her lip, "Yes, but I didn't buy very much."

"I'll go. Give me the money and a list of the things you want." Sasuke commanded brusquely, his hand out. Sakura stared at him warily.

"There's really no point in me objecting, is there?" Sakura murmured.

Sasuke smirked, "You're learning."

Sakura rolled her eyes, and fisted the pockets of her jacket. She pulled out a small wad of money, and gave it to him, almost embarrassedly. She then ripped a piece of paper and hurriedly wrote down the food items.

"Um, if you don't have enough money for everything, you can forget the flour since it's the most expensive."

Sasuke nodded, pulling out 'his' jacket and stuffing the shopping list and money into his pockets. Sakura fixed his collar, like last time, and Sasuke was almost used to her invading presence.

"By something for yourself if there's anything left over, alright?" Sakura insisted softly, a small smiling playing at her lips, "Although I doubt there'd be much left."

"I'm going to go out the back door," Sasuke stated impassively, carefully watching her reaction. She merely stared at him, slightly confused before grinning pleasantly.

"Alright, stay safe Sasuke-kun."

He nodded, turning towards the back door. Sakura watched his receding back for awhile, before deciding to wash her face of the tear stains, so she didn't have to look like a fool for the whole day.

Fortunately for Sasuke, Sakura didn't see him quickly grab his sword, before closing the door deftly behind him.

* * *

Sasuke walked by the storefronts, looking for the same shop that he and Sakura had went inside the previous week. He figured scaring another shop owner in to giving him service would be an unnecessary hassle and a waste of time. Finally, Sasuke's eyes caught the familiar blinds and opening sign, and walked swiftly towards the store.

Once he entered the store, Sasuke noted that it was practically vacant, save for the presumptuous owner who sat glaring at him through narrowed eyes. He thought it was rather stupid of the owner, to deny Sakura entry in his store when he barely got any business.

"You again," The man seethed, when Sasuke walked languidly towards the till. Sasuke merely smirked in his direction, knowing that the stocky man wasn't stupid enough to try to make him leave.

"Aa," Sasuke affirmed, "I want to sell something."

"Sell something?" The owner hissed, mockingly, "You only buy here, boy."

"I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss," Sasuke retorted smoothly, pulling out his sword and laying it on the glass table.

The owner's eyes bulged, his mouth agape.

"So? Are you interested?"

The owner eyed him suspiciously, "I hope you aren't expecting an outrageous pay, boy. I'm not going bankrupt."

"No," Sasuke drawled, coldly, "Just enough to make do. Not a difficult request, is it?"

The man nodded, grinning slyly already staring at Sasuke's sword with hungry eyes, "No. That seems to be fine."

* * *

**A/N: **I'm sorry if there is any spelling errors or grammar issues I missed; it's like two in the morning now, but yeah. My exams are finally finished, and I've never been so burnt out in my life. I missed so many fandom shiznit.

I still have a whack load of pm replies and things to get to, but I promise to get them done with tomorrow morning, when my replies will be a bit more coherent and intelligent. I can't stress how AWESOME the reviews were. I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the last chapter.

Let me know what you guys think of this one!


	5. this hungry heart will not subside

_It's difficult for me to understand why you are here._

_It's not. _

_It is._

_Stop being foolish. You don't understand._

_Then explain it! I know why I am here; I know why I am being taught by Kakashi-sensei. I am the Kyuubi container._

_And I am mentally ill. A product of my brother's madness. A hindrance to this village. _

_Uchiha Sasuke, then? I've heard about it—your past. Most kids don't know, apart from a few._

_And I'd like to keep it that way. I don't need pity. _

_So you are learning from Kakashi sensei so you can prove yourself, right?_

_Of course not; I am learning for myself—I don't need to prove anything. _

_I think you used to care about this village. I understand that what they did is hard to get past. I have hope for this village though. I want to make it better._

_Don't assume. I have only ever cared for myself. _

_I'm sure it's easier—not caring. _

…_Aa._

* * *

**The Glass House**

_this hungry heart will not subside_

* * *

_Was I always this lonely?_

"I'll wait till the snow clears up—I plan on setting out in a day or two."

_Was I always this pathetic?_

"Okay," Sakura replied with a warm smile, her voice a tad shaky. She bit her lip, and watched painfully as he rolled up the map he bought. When she asked him to get something for himself, she wasn't expecting something that would help him _leave her_.

Sasuke watched her carefully from the corner of his eye, seeing the transparency of her façade. She was clearly hurt; he supposed coming back from a shopping trip and declaring his leave would illicit such a response. Sasuke frowned, telling himself to pay no mind to her feeble emotions. The sooner he stopped dwelling about her and everything she encompassed, the sooner he could do something constructive.

"By the way," Sasuke murmured, fisting his pockets and pulling out a pouch, "Here's your money from earlier."

Sakura took the dangling pouch, and opened it, shocked to see more money than she had given him. Her eyes widened considerably.

"Why…? How…?"

Sasuke shrugged, "You need the money. I could tell your shopping trip a week ago was more for show than anything. You purposely bought a few items because that's all you could afford."

Sakura reddened, uncomfortable with his pity, uncomfortable at the fact that her living conditions were more than apparent.

"It's hard, Sasuke-kun," Sakura admitted, weakly, "It's hard trying to get business when the villagers don't like me."

"It's more than that," Sasuke replied, "I can tell it's more than that."

Sakura felt her eyes sting painfully from the onslaught of fresh tears. She turned her head down, praying that he wouldn't see her pathetic display. To be weak in front of him…to be crying in front of him—she didn't want the little respect he had of her to diminish.

"However, I won't ask you any questions," Sasuke continued, firmly, "We both have our secrets."

"I promise to tell you everything. I promise."

Sasuke frowned, uncomfortable with her soft-spoken words, "You don't have to."

"I will. You are leaving soon, and I want us to part on an honest note," Sakura smiled softly, and Sasuke knew it was one of her rare genuine smiles, "So, do you want to help me cook instead of lounging around looking bored?"

"Fine," He muttered, as he rubbed his neck awkwardly.

* * *

"Can you cut the onions, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, passing him a knife and a cutting board. Sasuke nodded and began cutting the onions quickly and efficiently, Sakura watched him, awe-struck.

"I guess…I guess it's _me_ helping _you_ in the kitchen," Sakura murmured, sounding bitter. Sasuke merely smirked at her.

"I've lived alone almost all my life, so cooking was a necessity. I'm not a good cook, by any means."

"I think you are being modest," Sakura lightly teased, nudging his side, "I command you to show me the lengths of your culinary expertise."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but he didn't look annoyed in the slightest. She always wondered how he could do that; he was a walking contradiction, an enigma.

"You understand then?" Sakura asked, her hands trembling, "You understand what it means to be lonely?"

Sasuke nodded, his hands busy chopping vegetables. He was fighting a battle internally though—a losing battle. He had to constantly remind himself that she wasn't him, and that the sadness she felt couldn't possibly describe the gut-wrenching turmoil that he experienced till this very day. She couldn't understand, and Sasuke knew that, regardless of how desperately he wanted her to.

"Before you, my only comfort was good tea and a medical book—although my tea never turns out great."

"I'm glad you acknowledge how crappy your tea is."

Sakura pouted, although her eyes were shining gleefully, "Crappy is a strong word, Sasuke-kun, but I'm sure with your amazing skills in the kitchen, I can be saved."

Sasuke snorted derisively, "Sadly for you, you're a lost case."

"Don't get too cocky Sasuke-kun, Ino-chan—my best friend—makes the best tea. She's good at everything, you know. Good ninja, beautiful, a charmer. I always wanted to be like her."

Sasuke frowned, "You should stop wishing to be like anybody at all."

Sakura smiled softly, it was one of her ordinary smiles, Sasuke could imagine her smiling like that to a complete stranger and it was the type of smile that usually made him feel hollow, "I know. I can't help it. It's hard for you to understand, Sasuke-kun. The feeling of being completely useless."

No, Sasuke wanted to say, no it's a feeling I'm well accustomed too.

* * *

Sakura—for the sixth time that night—dipped the wooden spoon into the boiling pot and took a sip of the soup Sasuke made. She closed her eyes, feeling the warm liquid trickle down her throat. This was, perhaps, the best meal she had in the longest time.

She felt a tad pathetic that the best meal she had was soup.

Sakura turned towards the sink, where Sasuke was washing dishes, as her lips curved into a wide smile, "I can't get over how delicious this soup is."

Sasuke turned to regard her carefully, his gaze intent. Sakura felt her cheeks redden.

"You have food on the side of your mouth," Sasuke murmured, and Sakura quickly wiped her mouth, feeling embarrassed.

A blanket of silence settled between them, Sasuke washing dishes and Sakura 'manning' the boiling pot. However the silence was short-lived, as Sakura's quiet voice flittered through the room.

She had asked him if he was going to miss her. Thoughts seemed to settle in his mind, thoughts of how he'd miss her warm and gentle touch, touches that couldn't possibly just be healing—her touches always seemed loaded with something far more foreboding, something far more intimate. He thought of how he would miss her voice (it always seemed too sweet, much like her tea), of how he'd miss her random but slightly entertaining outbursts. He thought of how he would miss the peace of mind, of how his world no longer seemed to be shrouded with darkness. He thought of how he would miss the lack of painful pangs, the lack of painful memories, the lack of painful obligation.

Sasuke seemed disturbed at the revelation, the feeling akin to a bucket of cold water, and he turned around to look at her, his eyes seeming even darker to Sakura.

"You're one of the more annoying people I've met, so I don't think shaking off your memory would be easy."

Sakura giggled, her voice softened by the melancholic tone of her laughter, her hands wrapping around her waist almost protectively. A sheen of tears began to form under her green eyes, as her laughter slowly died down.

"It'll be difficult to go back to medical books and bad tea," Sakura said, her voice sounding disgustingly fake. Tears began to cascade down her cheeks by then, and watching her fighting tears bothered him immensely.

Sasuke's hand reached out, setting his hand on her shoulder, her skin feeling ridiculously soft under his palm. A crimson flush settled against her cheeks, her shoulder slightly jerking underneath his hand. Her eyes were still downcast, but Sasuke knew she was still fighting tears.

"I'll miss you so much, Sasuke-kun. It's selfish of me, but I wish you'd never leave."

His hands slowly reached up to brush away the pink strands that were stuck against her wet cheeks. He could feel her pulse racing, he could feel her breathing quicken.

And it scared Sasuke. He didn't like what he was doing to her, and he didn't like what she was doing to him. These stupid feelings, these stupid thoughts. Sasuke knew in the long-run, these moments that seemed to make him forget everything that was painful, wouldn't be worth it.

* * *

**A/N**: OMG. WOW. Lots of things happened, I moved to another city, and my laptop broke so I had to rewrite this chapter. In any case, I'm updating this real quick before I go to school, so I'll edit this when I come home. Thanks for all the reviews last chapter, I'll reply to pms and everything as soon as I get the chance. I still haven't gotten the chance to go through it what with the move.

THANKS!


	6. all that we know is nothing to run from

_Tsunade-sama?_

_Hm?_

Do the villagers dislike me?

_Dislike you? Of course not._

_I think they do. They never smile when I walk by…and they always give the coldest of stares._

_This is a small village, Sakura. People take a while to warm up to newcomers._

_I've been here for months though._

_Sakura…Sakura you aren't a child._

_Yes, Tsunade-sama._

_So you should understand that people are petty and mean…even grown adults._

_I understand, Tsunade-sama._

_Good. Now go fetch me some clean bedspreads._

* * *

**The Glass House**

_all that we know is nothing to run from_

* * *

It was colder than usual.

Sakura shivered, tugging the edges of the blanket around her firmly, as she stared outside her window. Palm on her cheek, Sakura balanced her elbow on the wooden edge of the counter as she hummed quietly to herself. It wasn't even snowing all that much and she could see quiet clearly through her window. It was completely deserted, a few dancing lights here and there, but Sakura thought it was safe to assume that most of the villagers were shivering violently in their homes as well.

"Is there a particular reason why you're staring out the window?"

Sakura smile half-heartedly, her back still turned to Sasuke, who was currently sprawled on his mattress, his arm draped over his eyes.

"I was just looking out for customers. The weather's better so maybe some people will stop by."

Sasuke frowned, "I thought you said nobody ever comes."

"I know but—"

"But what?" Sasuke retorted abruptly, "Why are you waiting for something you know isn't coming?"

Sakura turned around to faintly glance at him, taking in his lazy sprawl, and the frown currently marring his face, and the soft wisps of dark hair messily covering his forehead.

"It isn't a terrible thing to hope, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn," he said, quietly, somber.

"It's okay if you think I'm being silly," Sakura added, shrugging slightly, her soft voice was accepting, understanding—"I just don't like giving up."

"It isn't about giving up…it's about having silly dreams and hopes that does nothing but hurt you in the long-run," Sasuke replied, his voice too strong for the fragile moment they were having.

"I think a little pain…wouldn't be so bad," Sakura murmured, still staring out the window, still seeing nobody come to her door.

"Let's stop talking about this," Sasuke said quietly, "It's depressing."

Sakura giggled, her hands reaching out to draw the curtains over the window closer, "Can you go get some wood from the back?"

Sasuke nodded, getting up from the mattress and grabbing his coat. The cold instantly bit his cheeks once he opened the door. The back of Sakura's modest home was small—twigs were scattered across the snow, and a large tree billowed as a strong wind hit. Sasuke saw the stacked logs to his right, and he made the quick shuffle towards it, covering his face with his arm in an effort to avoid the cold wind. Grabbing a few logs, Sasuke made his way towards the door but his hastened jog was halted when his eyes caught an odd image before him.

An old mattress, covered in blood.

* * *

Sasuke had often seen Sakura looking at an old worn photo—she'd be crying and snivelling every time she'd look at it; a rare moment for her, a moment where her fake smiles and sweet talk were completely absent. Sasuke would quietly watch her, a part of him disturbed, another part relieved. He sometimes thought she wasn't human, somebody as cheerful as her, always smiling despite her embarrassing living conditions, and despite being alone. Seeing her in a rare moment of weakness—it made him more comfortable around her; for Sasuke wasn't comfortable around the picture of perfection.

From the small glances Sasuke had of the picture, he could tell it was taken during her younger years. He recognised Sakura of course—smaller, eyes a tad brighter. He also recognised the boy, and he fought a hard lump in his throat whenever the name 'Naruto' danced in his mind. He didn't recognise the blonde girl, but he assumed it was the best friend she often talked about—Ino was her name; the girl Sakura wanted to be like.

Sasuke didn't remember Sakura—didn't remember obnoxious pink hair, green apple eyes, or a beaming smile. He didn't remember her eccentric giggles, or her odd and random questions.

Sasuke knew that if he were to meet Sakura in the past, he wouldn't have forgotten her. She was like an annoying stain--he could imagine forgetting her would be a difficult task, at the very least.

How odd, Sasuke thought, that they both lived in the same village and knew the same people but never met.

* * *

When Sasuke had returned with an armful of wood, he opened his mouth and asked her about the bloody mattress teetered in her backyard.

A lie was already formulated in Sakura's mind—ready to say, difficult to question. But Sakura reminded herself that she promised to tell him everything, regardless of how hard it would be to reveal.

Sasuke's eyes were dark, hard, and completely able to see through her. She was afraid of him, she thought, because fooling Sasuke would be harder than fooling herself. She wondered if he could handle the real Sakura—the Sakura that wasn't perfect, or cheerful, or innocent.

Sakura bit her lip, and turned to face Sasuke, although her gaze was downcast. She was clearly ashamed but nothing came out of her mouth. Sakura breathed heavily, mentally readying herself—although she was already sick to her stomach.

"The mattress," Sakura began, tentatively and her voice faint, "is covered in my sensei's blood."

Sakura lifted her head to gauge Sasuke's reaction, but his gaze was still strong and unrelenting.

_Why isn't he saying anything? _

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura probed, voice small and hands shaking violently against her chest.

"Did you kill your teacher?" Sasuke finally asked.

"I might as well have. She died on my watch. She died in this ratty, small house and I didn't notice."

Sasuke frowned, "There's a difference between you killing her…and you unable to prevent it."

"What do you know?" Sakura spat, the harsh words spilling out of her mouth defensively before she could fully comprehend it, "You don't know what it feels like! To see a loved one bleeding in front of you and taking their last breaths, knowing you couldn't do anything at all despite having the power to—killing her myself wouldn't be any different."

Perhaps it was due to the angry red hazing her vision, but at some point Sasuke had closed the distance between them, his arms braced against the wall either side of Sakura's head, trapping her there as he breathed heavily, his warm breath fanning her cheeks. Sakura closed her eyes, angry tears somehow able to slip past her closed eyelids and cascade across her cheeks.

"Get away from me," Sakura demanded her voice shaky and her eyes still very much closed. A part of her was too angry to look at him…another part of her was too scared to see what his eyes would tell.

"I'm not the one assuming things about people," Sasuke retorted, his words cold and sharp, "You've no idea…the amount of deaths I could have prevented…or the amount of deaths I have seen in my life."

Sakura stared up at him, her lips parted, her breath hitched in the back of her throat. His warm breath was still fanning her cheeks; his eyes were still boring into her, the anger slowly dissipating between them.

"I'm sorry…Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke chuckled humourlessly, "For what? You're sorry for something you don't even know."

"I do," Sakura retorted, "My teacher…"

"Your teacher?" Sasuke replied, scathingly, "Your teacher hardly equates the massacre of my entire family."

"No…no my mother as well, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke glared at her, "Two people in your petty life does _not _equal the massacre of my entire family."

"I still understand the pain…I still understand," Sakura murmured, "So stop throwing it in my face. I promised I would tell you everything…and you're reacting so horribly."

"I'm sorry you didn't get the desired response," Sasuke spat, inching away from her face.

"I trusted you enough. I never told anybody else."

"Then maybe you chose the wrong person to confide in," Sasuke ground out through clenched teeth, as he turned around and walked out through the front door, leaving Sakura slumped against the wall, her hair sticking to her wet cheeks, her eyes vacant and her lips dry.

Sakura had originally wanted to go the village and take a photo of Sasuke. She wanted another memory in print, another memory she could fold and wear out. Sakura wanted Sasuke's face engraved in her mind forever—a picture of him giving his half-smiles and tired glares. She told herself that she wouldn't cry when she'd look at his picture, long after he left. She'd smile instead, and remember one of the happiest times of her life.

Instead, the image of an angry Sasuke…his eyes cold, dark, and his words sharp and unrelenting was engraved in Sakura's mind, and it evoked the worst feeling she could imagine.

Today, Sakura planned on forever tainting the perfect Sakura that she desperately tried to paint.

Inadvertently, the perfect Sasuke was tainted as well.

* * *

**A/N:** Oh, an angsty chapter TT I know this was a bit depressing, lol, but it was necessary for the plot. Please bear with me, readers! Thank you for the lovely, encouraging reviews. I get giddy whenever I get an alert for a review. Please tell me what you guys thought of this chapter.

I was thinking of the length of this fic, and by the way it's going, it probably won't be up to twenty chapters /


	7. had your fill of sinking

_You're quiet kid, aren't you?_

_Hn._

_You should talk more often. That'd be nice.._

_You're aren't much of a talker either Kakashi-sensei._

_Well, us old folk are usually pensive. _

_Nice excuse._

_Who said it was an excuse? You should smile more too. _

_That's funny…coming from a guy who wears a mask._

_I wear it because I've smiled so much in my life that it's sort of permanent now—kind of a mood killer being a shinobi and all._

…_._

_The joke's funnier when you picture it in your head—trust me._

* * *

**The Glass House**

_had your fill of sinking_

* * *

Sasuke had been walking for over an hour now, at least. He was suddenly very aware of the cold and the loss of feeling in his fingers. The realization dawned on him much like a cold shower, the initial anger dissipating and instead, a hollow feeling settling it in his stomach. Images harshly attacked his mind eye; images of angry tears, of angry words, and of an angry _her—_he immediately closed his eyes, trying to cease the onslaught of more than uninvited memories.

His feet finally stopped (his feet felt like a different entity than the rest of himself, as if his feet had a mind of its own), and he finally took in his surroundings. A handful of cottages surrounded him, a few shops, a couple people walking down the road, each and every one of them craning their heads towards him, taking in his form, their expressions the same image of disgust when he had travelled to that old man's shop a few weeks before. His lips turned into a tight frown as their glares became colder. It hardly fazed him—but he could barely imagine how somebody less jaded than him, somebody less immune…would react.

"You travel with that…that girl, don't you?"

The words were spat viciously at him, the speaker a middle-aged looking woman, with a small little boy at hand, the child's cheeks pink with cold. A part of him didn't want to dignify her stupid question with a response, but another part of him (a morbid part of him, he soon realized) had a sudden thirst for conversation, as stupid as it was.

"That girl indeed," He muttered under his breath, the little boy staring at him with wide eyes.

"Excuse me?" The woman questioned haughtily, "I see you have the same, terrible manners as that…cursed girl. Always mumbling. Answer properly!"

"I didn't answer your stupid question," He remarked coolly.

"Attitude as well…at least that cursed, troublemaking of a girl had the decency to be remotely polite when talked to," the woman screeched.

"Talked?" He snorted, "From what I gather, you've all but killed her."

The woman narrowed her eyes, her taut mouth becoming impossibly thinner, "You've no idea…how that…that…_thing_ came to our village and _destroyed_ everything! So don't you dare tell me or any other person a thing. You….invaders are just getting a taste of your own medicine."

"No one would want to invade this cesspool of a village," He replied coldly, "A tidbit from an expert…if you will."

The woman stared at him in disgust, her face aghast and her mouth gaping, as he observed her hand tightening round her son's puny fingers, "I knew it. I knew it! No one dared believe me, always thinking you were a bunch of hoodlums, I knew you were criminals and I knew you should've been out since they saw your disgusting, troublemaking face! I may not be as forgiving but I never regret! I'll be telling your tidbit to everybody! Mark my words you ghastly waste of flesh!"

The woman hurried by him, still mumbling random words as she dragged her son with her.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, the woman would probably go and tell authorities—it wasn't anything terrible for him, he'd be leaving the village soon. The consequences of his actions for Sakura though…

"Stop thinking about her," He muttered his hands in tight fists, "Stop."

He was going to leave this village. He was going to leave, and eventually he'd forget about her. And he knew it would be hard, because she was the loud, disruptive sort and the memories of her were like ice on skin, fresh in his mind's eye and he knew it would take awhile, much like the memories of the massacre, much like the memories of his old home, much like the memories of his brother—it would take awhile, and eventually, he'd be numb when he'd hear her name, and the memories would dull and fade, and there'd be no feeling if he were to ever see her, his heart would be hard and small once more.

And while he knew the time that would happen would be a long while, it'd probably take forever, but knowing that one day, eventually it could happen was most definitely a solace.

* * *

His whole family was killed. _Massacred_, he had said. Sakura tightened her knees around her head, as she clenched her eyes shut, trying to fight the sudden flash of memory—glaring at her, boundless waves of disgust vivid in his face. She had never seen him so angry before, so cruel. She always thought that he was a broken boy, she could tell when he spoke and how disillusioned he was, about everything. She truly believed she made some progress…she truly believed that smiling for him (for the both of them really)…would make him just a tad bit hopeful…just a tad bit more happy, if only for a little bit.

And knowing that she was trying—_that she was doing something_, gave her fulfillment, gave her happiness. But she ruined everything in one foul sweep. She ruined everything, and their teetering-on-the-fence relationship, their little bit of mutual understanding, was completely gone.

The door slowly opened, and in came Sasuke, his back facing her as he closed the door quietly, carefully avoiding her. Her breath was hitched into her throat, as she watched him, waited for him to say something. He didn't say anything though, he continued to aimlessly walk by her, as if she wasn't there and a sudden rush of panic filled her, and she felt her chin quiver as she futilely tried to stop the onslaught of angry tears. She was angry. At what, she wasn't quite sure. She was disappointed in him for being so angry with her so soon…he didn't even give her a chance.

"You hate me don't you?" Sakura whispered harshly, her head turned away from him.

The silence stretched on, and Sakura literally felt her chest beat painfully, taking the silence for its only answer. How painful…the silence was. She didn't expect it to hurt this much, it wasn't particularly new to her that she cared for him. She always did—long before he had even opened her eyes. Sasuke meant different things to her during the course of their relationship.

"It'd be…too troublesome to hate you." He had said it thoughtfully, somberly.

Sakura turned to stare at him, slightly shocked, but mostly relieved, her tinted cheeks the perfect indication.

"It'd be nice…if you looked at me while you said that. So I know you're telling the truth," Sakura murmured, watching him stubbornly avoid her gaze.

"I don't normally say things like that…so stop being annoying and take it for what its worth."

Sakura smiled softly…smiled at the normalcy of his words, her knees still hugged close to her chest, "I know I hurt you."

Sasuke frowned, his back still turned to her.

"But," Sakura murmured hoarsely, "You hurt me too. Seeing you angry like that…_hurt_. It hurt a lot."

"I know I hurt you," Sasuke replied, and then he dryly chuckled, "It was all I could think about after I left."

"Me too," Sakura snorted, "We're a pathetic pair."

Sasuke sighed, running a hand threw his hair, "Hn."

"It's part of our charm, I guess," Sakura smiled sadly, "I'll miss this—as pathetic as it is. I'll miss your stupid half-smiles, your stubbornness, your lack of compassion...and you get the idea."

He scoffed, "You're far more stubborn than me. I'll give you the lack of compassion thing though. As for the half-smiles…?"

"You do this thing where you try to fight a smile so it looks like a smirk….only happier."

Sasuke raised his eyebrow, as he kneeled himself down by the opposite wall from her, his legs splayed in front of him, and his arms folded behind his head. He looked like the perfect image of relaxation…Sakura knew better though. He was probably thinking about what she said.

"I can tell it's hard for you to smile," Sakura added, resting her chin against her folded arms, "Because of your past…right?"

Sasuke sighed, "Aa."

"It's okay. I know you don't want to tell me anything. Even if you say you don't hate me…I know a part of you resents me…even a little bit. But I still want to tell you about my past, you don't have to say anything, you don't even have to listen…just," Sakura took a breath, her voice already thick, "Just stay? Please? For once…I don't want to talk to beige walls, flimsy curtains, to creaking cupboards….to…to myself."

So Sakura began talking…she started off hesitantly, Sasuke could tell she was very much aware of him sitting there, his eyes closed but very much awake. She started off with her wanting to be a kunoichi, it was her childhood dream and even though she wasn't athletic, she had studied immensely and wanted to be just like her late father. She had never seen her father before, he had died when she was very small, but her mother often talked fondly of him and she couldn't help but be attached with his legacy, his career, the very thing that made her mother speak with a voice so full of pride. Her mother wasn't particularly keen on her going off and becoming a kunoichi, the very profession that had taken away her husband, but Sakura had always assured her that she would be strong and protect her mother...and it seemed like the perfect consolation.

She mentioned Ino too, her best friend who also wanted to be a kunoichi, she was brilliant at it though, much better than Sakura. Always graceful, always pretty, always charming. Sakura had always been jealous of her, and she was sure Ino knew too. They went to school together, and Sakura soon learned of her strengths and weaknesses, a bookworm she was…but it still didn't deter her. As long as she was reminded of her late father, as long as she met that ideal…

"I could do it," Sakura whispered, her cheeks already damp with tears.

Sakura had also gained an unlikely inspiration, Naruto. A stupid, clumsy, overbearing boy but so dedicated to his cause—his dream was so out of reach, so impossible to her, but he always talked about as though it was an eventuality. He had only been in class for a month or so before they pulled him out of it, because of something terrible inside of him…that was all he ever told her. He never came back, and she eventually graduated from the academy and pursued her dream.

It wasn't the last she saw of Naruto though, somehow (_a struck of luck…maybe fate_, Sakura murmured a hint of smile on her lips) he ended up being on her team, along with Ino. She acted like she couldn't stand the sight of him, but inside she was bubbling with joy, and Naruto looked older, wiser and somehow jaded (_Naruto said it was because a dear friend of his had left_, Sakura shrugged her shoulders, _he never really elaborated_) but his dream was still intact and so was his determination, and Sakura couldn't help but feel like she could make her father, mother…and even herself proud.

Naruto was an amazing shinobi, and Ino had always said that Kakashi-sensei was always known for doing the impossible, Sakura wasn't as realistic though, or maybe she wasn't as hopeless, but she was sure it was because Kakashi-sensei had given Naruto the chance nobody ever did. They made a good team, but it was easy to see she was the weakest link, filled with knowledge but execution…not exactly impeccable. Ino and Naruto pushed her relentlessly, Naruto always the beacon of hope, of praise…and Ino always reminded her of her father, her mother…her goals. It helped, but she was never up to par. Never quite like them.

But Sakura was never prepared to have her faults slapped in her face like the day her mother was killed. She was a kunoichi after all, and she didn't even save her mother. _Her mother_. She was brutally murdered and she wasn't even on mission, she wasn't even busy…she remembered it clearly, she was just aimlessly shopping in the village…and she didn't even sense the danger, and she couldn't even stop it…or get there in time. And what was the purpose of her becoming kunoichi when she failed her mother? When didn't save a life?

"So I ran away," Sakura shuddered, eyes stinging, wide, "I ran away and I came to this village…by accident of course, but I couldn't bear to go back here…to look at my friends, my family…to face my failure—too face my mother's corpse. I couldn't."

That was when Sakura met Tsunade—she had stumbled upon her cottage, much like how he had, and Tsunade took her in, cleaned her, healed her…and Sakura begged her to teach her. She had an amazing skill, Tsunade-sensei. A medic-nin she was, and Sakura wanted the skills, she wanted the ability to save because she proved to be useless elsewhere. She knew it wouldn't bring back her mother, but maybe if she could save others, if she could save enough people so the heavy feeling in her chest would be just a bit less painful. Tsunade was skeptical of her of course, but she was impressed with her chakra control and her knowledge…and so, she had reluctantly agreed.

The villagers weren't particularly keen with her though, while it was a small village, Tsunade was the only medic close to them and they relied on her. Sakura was taking away valuable time for healing patients. The worries were sensible, for Tsunade proved to be capable of healing and teaching her—Tsunade was an enigma too, Sakura often wondered why somebody as talented as her worked in such a small, insignificant village. The villager's still harboured resentment whenever they saw her, and sometimes they wouldn't serve her in stores, or be extremely rude to her when she walked by…it hurt her a lot, more than she had thought. Sakura planned to endure it though, they wouldn't be an obstacle…she was determined.

"But then…then Tsunade-sama was killed too. I saw it this time, and again because I'm completely useless, she died right in front of me. I tried to heal her, I tried to save her…but I couldn't and not only had I failed myself, I had failed an entire village relying on a woman they loved and cared for."

Sakura had doubled over, her entire body crumpling onto the ground, fury, grief and sorrow completely unsuppressed. It was difficult to Sasuke to watch her sob, gasping as she murmured all of the name of the people she failed…even his name, and Sasuke felt his eyes sting uncomfortably after hearing her say his name with that much…grief.

Sakura pressed her hand over her mouth, doing little stop the devastating wails. She hadn't cried like this in months. It wasn't like she had told the story any differently. She had repeated the same words before, over and over, during nights while her pillow was smashed against her face. She had cried a bit, but not like this. _Not like this._

And maybe it was because somebody she cared for was right in front of her, somebody she never wanted to fail…maybe it was because he was completely unresponsive, his eyes closed, lips unmoving. Maybe it was because despite saying all of this to a living, breathing human opposite of her…she was still terribly alone and still completely a useless failure.

She wished she could stop crying, she wish she could keep just a bit of dignity…to compose herself. But her body had other ideas, and she knew she wouldn't stop crying till it was physically impossible for her to continue.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry Sasuke-kun," Sakura gasped through sobs, "I'm sorry…I know you…you hate me and…"

"I don't," He interrupted, trying to keep his voice toneless…devoid of emotion.

"…I shouldn't have forced you to stand there, you weren't even listening..."

"I was," He added harshly, "I listened."

Sakura tried to halt the tears; she had no one but herself to stop it. And she comforted herself with a myriad of things, of the fact that Sasuke was still standing there, he hadn't ran away, he hadn't stared at her in disgust. She comforted herself with the fact that she would eventually stop crying. Eventually.

But her thoughts had ceased when Sasuke wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from the ground, holding her tightly against his chest, urging her to forget…a silent, unspeakable urge. Sakura clutched at him, her fingers digging into his back, the thought dancing in her head that she might've hurt him, but having a warm, breathing, real body next to her was a realization that darkened everything else.

And her sobs grew quieter, till she was just shaking quietly against him, breathing hitched breaths, and her eyes blank and glazed.

Sasuke was staring out the window now, watching the snow continue to build up, and watching the odd passerby cross the street, the odd glance towards the cottage…always the same angry, resentful face. And he was lost in his own thoughts, as Sakura rambled—an apology perhaps, but he wasn't paying attention.

Then Sasuke stopped his thoughts, his eyes still glued to the window, because he had heard her mumble something he thought he would never hear. He had to remind himself it was Sakura…but the words were an eerie echo in his head, and he wanted it out.

Because Sasuke knew it were impossible Sakura had said 'I love you'…because nobody had loved him in thirteen years.

And he would never let somebody love him again.

* * *

**A/N:** I knoooow this chapter took forever, but RL is a drag and adding laziness into the mix and you got a really late chapter. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this, and I loved reading the reviews for the last chapter, I'm glad the angst wasn't too despicable.

Please review :3


	8. take the hinges off the door

**the glass house**

_take the hinges off the door_

* * *

He was ignoring her. She was absolutely sure of it. For the past week…he had been avoiding her like the plague, being more closed off than ever before. In fact, Sakura was sure that having his sword dig in the flesh of her neck when he had woken up the day he'd first met her was far more bearable, far more kind. It made no sense to her. She had expected a change, not a particularly grand one, but a positive change…a progressive change. Telling him her story, her past…it was a hurdle but she wasn't afraid of the other side, she knew once she told him there would be no more secrets…maybe then he could understand the intensity of her feelings, maybe then he could understand how important he was. And a childish part of her had thought that he wouldn't leave, that he'd tell her his story, whatever it was, and he'd stay. He'd stay because he needed her too. But while Sakura had her irrational moments, she wasn't stupid. Even while she was sobbing against his chest she knew he would never do such a thing.

Things had gotten worse though, he hadn't spoken to her at all, save for the few clipped statements that infuriated her more than anything. He'd be out for long periods of time, stocking up he said because he was leaving—Sakura tried to smile as best as she could when he said that—and when he returned he'd train for hours, and she'd watch him, secretly memorizing the movements but angry that she had to watch from afar…the outside looking in. He'd go to bed soon after, muttering a curt goodnight, and not even waiting for her reply.

Not only was it infuriating, _it hurt_. It was an insult really…she'd prefer him saying he didn't share her feelings, but instead he acted like they didn't exist.

He would not run away from her feelings. If he wouldn't come to her, then she'd come to him.

* * *

"Sasuke-kun…I want you to fight me."

He wanted to say she had lost the remainder of her marbles, but she looked deadly serious, sporting one of _his own _shirts, hoisted up around the arms and her legs footed firmly. She wasn't wearing her usual skirt, but pants that met just above her ankles. He wondered where she got it from…according to her story, her ninja clothes would be far too small to wear. His eyebrows creased, eyes narrowed. She looked stupid. Completely and utterly—

"I hope you don't mind me wearing your shirt," She announced primly.

"I do mind."

"Yeah well, I doubt asking you to wear it would have helped much," Sakura retorted bitterly, "What with you ignoring me and all."

Sasuke didn't reply, simply scrutinizing her with a scowl on his face. Snow was gathering on her hair, and her teeth chattered lightly but her eyes were still defiant, her lips a tight line.

"Stop stalling! I want to fight," Sakura muttered fiercely, her fists curled.

He snorted, "Fight you? Hardly. You can't even withstand the cold. You're shivering."

"_Normal_ people take awhile to get used to temperature change, I'm fine and have dealt with worse," Sakura snapped, "Now let's fight."

"No."

Sakura growled, "Why? You've ignored me for a week, maybe more. So why not fight? I'd like the practice."

"Practice by yourself."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, "No. You'll fight me."

"I'm not fighting you. You don't know _how_."

Sakura reddened with anger, "I may not be as good as you, but I know how to fight. I have skills. Perhaps a bit rusty but it's practice after all."

"Rusty?" Sasuke echoed, chuckling darkly, "Abysmal more like."

He was provoking her, angering her. It seemed easier for Sasuke to insult her intelligence, her skills…everything. It seemed easier than to realise that Sakura was truly angry at him, and he didn't know how to deal with it. He wasn't ready for another confrontation.

She made him feel unprepared…_unfit _for the scalding words she threw at him. Inadequate, in one word. Maybe he was a selfish bastard…but he wanted to make her feel inadequate too.

"You don't know that," Sakura hissed, "You don't know nothing despite everything I said. So fight me so I can show you."

He stared at her awhile before he murmured, "No. I won't. So it's best you don't tempt me."

Unfortunately for him, Sakura threw her first in the direction of his face, and he grabbed it, steadying her and warning her that he would seriously hurt her…he wasn't particularly fond of her wild antics, while not _completely there_, Sakura was still very much a rational person. Throwing her fist at him wasn't a norm.

Sakura gritted her teeth, and swung her leg towards his chest, but he effectively blocked her. Sasuke couldn't help but smirk a bit. She was throwing everything she had in her, and he blocked it quite easily. Sakura's red face was enough for him to know she didn't find his impeccable blocking all that amusing.

She glared at him fiercely for awhile, and Sasuke was sure she had calmed down and was going to give up, but then another fist came towards his face but it was infused with chakra. Sasuke hid his surprise and dodged it quickly, jumping back a few feet away from her as the fist came soaring down into the ground…leaving a crater in its wake.

"Smart of you to dodge," Sakura called to him, her tone pretentious, "I wasn't particularly fond of you blocking me like that."

He snorted, eying the destroyed clearing, now furnished with a crater, "Clearly."

Sakura glared at him, "You blame me for being angry? I know you aren't the most sympathetic of people but you have ignored me for a week now…after I told you how much _it hurt_ being ignored. Then you took my friendly invitation for a fight and threw it in my face."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "It was hardly a friendly invitation. Not to mention, I don't want your blood on my hands."

"Give me a break!" Sakura snapped, "I can fight just fine. You just assume things about me. You hate it when I do it to you."

"I'm not assuming. I could've killed you. Be thankful I had the mind to not take your 'friendly invitation' seriously," Sasuke replied coldly.

The cold wind howled angrily between them…fitting for the current emotions both of them held for one another.

"You shouldn't even care Sasuke-kun. About killing me I mean," Sakura said, her eyes hidden from his vision. He wondered what her eyes looked like then, if she's narrowing them, widened, teary…her flat tone of voice hardly ceased his curiosity. It was never just words with Sakura. It was every miniscule detail that came with it.

"I'm not that cold," Sasuke murmured, still unable to see her eyes, her bangs very much still in place.

"Sorry for slandering your character then," Sakura replied thickly, her hands shaking at her side.

Sasuke didn't say a thing. He couldn't think of anything. Inadequacy…he was steadily getting used to the feeling.

"Sorry for bothering you…with my 'friendly invitation'….and the crater."

Again. Nothing. He didn't reply, this time he was unsure if it was his inability to answer or because he didn't want too. It's easier to say it was because he didn't want too…easier to say that he had a semblance of control over himself.

And the power Sakura had over him, over his thoughts….she had absolutely no idea.

He then watched her bite her lip, watched her clench her fists, watched her turn around, bangs finally lifting away from her eyes but far too late for him to see the emotion there, and then she was in the house, door closed.

* * *

_one week earlier_

"…a letter apparently, a map that was marked too..."

"…Uchiha? That makes no sense…"

"…there isn't enough information to make a sensible conclusion, Nara."

"…a strategy then…is what you want?"

"…to acquire both Sakura and Uchiha…it is possible…"

"…he'll be prepared…after all…"

"…subtle…a two-man team…do not provoke…not intimidating…"

Ino felt dizzy. Her stomach knotting at first, then unraveling…falling, falling, falling. It was difficult to breathe. She couldn't comprehend, understand. All she could process, all she could think was that Sakura was alive. _Alive, Alive, Alive._ She thought of this moment a thousand times before, all of them seemed improbable but this…this…

The door opened then, and Ino jumped back hastily, her eyes meeting Shikamaru's and she felt all the dizzying emotions spill through, her eyes leaking, her lips moving.

"Calm down, Ino. You look a mess."

"I have to go. I have to."

A sigh, "Ino."

Ino fixed him with a withering stare, although her tears hardly helped her desired effect—Shikamaru was the definition of nonchalant.

"Please," She whispered, her hands catching his wrist, eyes pleading, "I need to go. I have to."

"Since you were doing a marvelous job of eavesdropping, I'm sure you heard Uchiha being mentioned," Shikamaru replied sardonically.

"I heard. Why is he with her?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "He sent us the letter…of her whereabouts. It's driving me mad. I can't figure out why."

"Maybe he wants to help. He can't be all bad if he told us where Sakura is."

Shikamaru snorted, "Sure you're latent feelings aren't talking there?"

Ino glared at him, "Give me a break. I never really liked him. That's not the point though, I'm being logical here."

"Right."

"If he told us about Sakura's whereabouts…how evil can he be? Not that much surely."

"Idiot. For all we know he's using her as bait," Shikamaru sighed, running his hands through his hair, "You're unbelievable."

"I'm going Shikamaru, okay? I'm going, and Naruto's coming along with me. I heard you mention a subtle, two-man team."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "Bringing Naruto along sort of defeats the purpose, don't you think?"

"Naruto would do anything to help bring back Sakura. Naruto needs to come. Sasuke was his friend you know…how more _not intimidating_ can you be?" Ino asked, "It's a win-win situation."

"It's illogical."

Ino squeezed his wrist, smiling, "It'll work."

Shikamaru sighed again, "Hokage won't agree to this."

Ino smirked, "I have faith in your persuasion skills. Plus, you'll give us a head start. You can appease the Hokage by saying he can send some back up a few days later."

"You thought of everything haven't you?"

Ino simply smiled once more and bounded out the door.

* * *

They hadn't spoke to one another after the very brief confrontation…Sakura tried to be aloof and nonchalant but her narrowed eyes which were constantly glassy said otherwise. Sasuke grew agitated—the small house was usually filled with Sakura's cheery ramblings and it was a bit of a solace. It kept him preoccupied, her words filling his mind and effectively blocking his own incessant, talkative voice living inside his head.

Without her chatter, as annoying as it was, he felt extremely bothered. Of course he told himself he wanted her talking again specifically for himself and not for her. He didn't really care about what Sakura was feeling. He told himself that far too often—the statement like clothes to skin, so effectively ingrained in his mind that he could not stop hearing it in his head whenever he did think of her.

Either way, the quiet was more annoying than Sakura could ever hope to be and Sasuke comforted himself with that fact.

"Where'd you get the pants from?"

Sakura looked taken aback, her eyes peeking over the thick medical book. Sasuke watched her expression carefully, not missing the small shake of her fingers as she tried to keep them steady around the book. She closed her shock-filled eyes briefly before opening them again, eyes unwaveringly on his.

"I bought them….awhile ago. It was just a spur of the moment type of thing," She narrowed her eyes, "Either way, why does it concern you?"

He shrugged, "I'm simply confused as to why. I had thought you finally made peace with how you sold your soul to villagers that despise your existence."

Sakura slammed her book shut, "I haven't sold my soul. I'm helping people…and if that clashes with your arrogant mindset then that's your problem isn't it? I'm perfectly content with my life."

Sasuke smirked, "You've accepted your life. Accepting and Content? Two different emotions."

"Because you're _so_ well-versed with matters of the heart?" Sakura rolled her eyes, "No offense Sasuke-kun, but emotions aren't exactly your niche."

"So this is about you telling me your feelings." A statement, not a question. Sakura felt her cheeks redden swiftly.

His stare was extremely unnerving. Flinching, her mouth worked frantically, "Of…of course not! I'm answering you're ill-thought out question about my pants."

Sasuke stared at her, "We aren't talking about pants. We're talking about your stupid loyalty to this village."

Sakura glared, "If we're bringing up stupid, you better not talk."

"I may be many things," Sasuke replied slowly, "But I'm certainly not stupid…and even if you regard me as such, you take the title."

"Fine!" Sakura spat, voice cold, "I agree. How stupid of me to care about somebody as pathetic and demeaning as you. Stupid indeed."

"I agree. Extremely stupid of you."

Sakura stared at him, her eyes shining like though a new realisation suddenly hit her, like something snapped within her and she was scarcely aware of the pain, save for the cringe on her lips, for she was far to preoccupied with the fact that the pain even existed to begin with—it wasn't a pretty expression, it was hardly dignified…but it settled an invisible weight on her face and a light had gone out.

Tears slowly slipped down her eyes, falling silently down her cheek, her lips hardly an inch apart.

"Of course you'd agree," Sakura whispered harshly, "Of course. Because that's all you do think of me, isn't it? Stupid. Illogical. Emotional. Maybe even crazy like the rest of the villagers think. Crazy to care about them, crazy to care about you. Why do I love you? How can I love somebody who thinks me stupid?"

Sasuke simply stared at her, a part of him waiting for her outburst to ride out; another part of him hoping the outburst was just that and not something infinitely more…something infinitely worse. He was an effect to her for a short while, just a few months. Becoming a part of her…whether or not it was what she wanted, it had happened. He had become necessary, he'd become important. He'd belonged somewhere, and in reality he hardly new what it meant, but Sasuke wasn't as emotionally lacking as Sakura liked to think—he still recognised, he still saw. He mattered, and he gained a pathetic, morbid and entirely unnatural satisfaction from it. A fulfillment—from somebody watching him, secretly and not-so. Somebody thinking just a tad more than usual about him. Somebody crying for him. He didn't think anybody ever did; at least not cry for the person he was now.

She clenched her fist, the following words both biting and remorseful, "I'm not stupid though. I'm not. I don't care how many times you say it, but I'm far from stupid. I'm intelligent. I…I'm a medic. I save lives. _I saved your life_. And while I regret some decisions, while I wish I could have rethought some of my past actions…I never regret it because I think it was stupid. Never stupid. Nothing I do is with the intention of ultimately feeling stupid."

"You're right. You are intelligent…which is precisely why I think you're stupid. Only a stupid person would claim to love somebody like me—save somebody like me." Sasuke replied, his voice oddly soft. Sasuke was always a slow speaker, a decisive speaker—a confident, purposeful speaker. He sounded humbled now. He sounded everything but sure of himself, "I suppose saying you're stupid is the easier explanation—the more logical explanation."

Sakura bit her lip, eyes stinging with unshed tears, "I don't know why I do. It's certainly not because I'm stupid."

Sasuke sighed, a hand running through his hair, "Perhaps you can give me the peace of mind and let me continue to think so?"

"Do you really think it's stupid of me to love you? Why?"

"Because I'm an avenger. Because I'm very different from you and it's extremely evident that we have different paths."

"There's been worse obstacles for people," Sakura murmured, voice wry, "It's hardly enough reasons to call my feelings stupid."

Sasuke stared at her, eyes intent and voice rough, "Because I don't deserve it."

"I don't care if you do deserve it or not. There's certainly been moments where I wondered but..." Sakura hitched in a breath, her tone suddenly went quieter, fragile, "But they're still there and I don't think they're going anywhere…at least not soon."

Sasuke was quiet for awhile. Contemplative. Sakura busied herself with making tea, and she felt the entire process was both awkward and a waste of time. She wanted to say something, keep the silence away. The tea was made soon enough, far too soon. Sakura had begun to dread turning around and seeing his face again—facing the inevitable consequences of telling him her feelings. Maybe it was selfish of her. Maybe she shouldn't have said it at all.

Sakura passed Sasuke the tea, his hands clasping around it firmly, his eyes fixed on the swirling liquid not looking at her once. Maybe he felt awkward too. She didn't really associate awkwardness with him. He had a grace to him that was entirely intrinsic to his being.

"Is the tea okay?"

"It's crap. Like usual."

Sakura couldn't help but giggle, although she was staring at him forlornly, as though she was already missing the moment that had passed between them just seconds ago.

"Sakura," He said finally, his voice sounding tired. Sakura realised that Sasuke hardly spoke as much as he did today, "I can't stay."

Sakura sipped her tea, "I didn't ask you too, did I?"

"No. But if you had any of those expectations…"

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura murmured softly, tenderly, "I wouldn't ask you to do that. I'm not…I'm not that _stupid_."

She put emphasis on the last word, but not with malice or mock. She said it because it was a fact. She wasn't illogical, she was a hopeful person but she wasn't…she wasn't going to pretend she didn't know the type of person Sasuke was.

"Thank you…and I'm sorry."

Sakura smiled, a smile completely devoid of any feeling—wholly plastic, fake, "Don't be sorry. It's not…it's not…well maybe it's your fault a little bit. But I'll get over it. I promise."

Sasuke wished he had the strength, the idiocy, the humility to say he didn't want her to stop loving him. But Sasuke was none of those things, and Sakura knew that too. So he said nothing.

And maybe it was irony or maybe it was karma, but the door of the little, rickety house was smashed open, and two faces that neither Sasuke nor Sakura wanted to see again were in front of them.

Sakura's tea cup fell from her hands and fell to the ground in tiny little pieces, scattering around her feet. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if that's what had happened to her too big heart just then. Did it break into little pieces? And if they didn't, if her heart continued to beat…would he be the one to break her heart once again, when she found out this was all his fault?

* * *

**A/N:**

School is explanation enough, I think D: But I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review, it'd be like a shining beacon in my bleak, dark, homework infested life.

Thanks.

**EDIT**: OMG! Thank you to the person who was pointing out that Tsunade Hokage mistake :D I'm extremely thankful.


	9. bittersweet, the taste in my mouth

**The Glass House**

* * *

_bittersweet, the taste in my mouth_

* * *

Sakura's hand began shaking violently as she lowered herself down to pick up the fractures of her teacup, her eyes not looking up once to her old friends or even to Sasuke who has hardly away from her line of vision, but she couldn't bear to look at any of them. This feeling of fear…of invasion filled her. She didn't want them there, she didn't want them to scrutnise the changes and for her to see the changes of them, the growth. She didn't want her feeble existence, the tiny life she had made for herself that made sense—where she could count on nobody ever coming to her door to ask for her help, that every night it would be cold, that the little old lady down the street tolerated her enough to give her overpriced tea, that…that she didn't have to face her demons, her past and only Sasuke would be the only positive change she'd have to deal with. It was a small sacrifice on her part, accepting change and accepting Sasuke so her life wasn't all that lonely anymore.

But this change—these familiar yet different looking faces with worn out eyes and confused smiles…she couldn't accept this at all.

"Sakura-chan?" Ino said tentatively, her long pony-tail looking messed, her nose pink with cold. Sakura realised that her voice sounded different…in her memories, Ino's voice was still small and child-like. The more Sakura looked at her, the more Sakura realised that the image in her mind was distorted.

"Why aren't you saying anything, Sakura-chan?!" Naruto's voice boomed through the small house, and Sakura saw Sasuke scowl slightly. Naruto was taller now, his hair glowing, looking completely surreal in her barely light house. He stood out like a sore thumb, his clothes messy, his face haggard but his eyes shining with something that made Sakura almost cry. He didn't belong here…neither of them did.

"She's in shock," Sasuke said finally, venturing a glance towards Sakura…looking at her as though she were alien. She didn't really think she was in shock, maybe a bit confused…and all the changes—perhaps it was a tad overwhelming.

"What the hell does that mean, teme?!" Naruto yelled, and Ino winced putting a comforting hand on Naruto's shoulder, hissing at him to be quiet.

They had gotten closer, it seemed. While Ino and Naruto were always friends…they weren't overly friendly with one another. Sakura couldn't help but feel a sudden sense of loss; they'd grown without her…it was hard watching that sacrifice from years ago standing right in front of her.

"Didn't you know we were coming…Sakura?" Ino asked her voice impossibly quiet. Sakura wanted to chuckle—they were acting like she was fragile, that the last bit of her sanity had cracked. Even Sasuke, who was always cold and hard around the edges, seemed oddly tentative around her.

"No," Sakura replied, "I didn't."

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed, "Aren't you happy to see us, Sakura-chan?! What's the matter? Why are you so quiet? We want to bring you back home…so things can go back to normal and—"

"Nothing can go back to normal," Sakura murmured hollowly, "You two…you shouldn't even be here. You should be back in Konoha…I don't understand…"

Naruto's face was the very definition of heart-break, his face crumbled and his lips quivered, from the cold or from fighting tears…Sakura wasn't sure. She felt sick to her stomach; she never wanted to hurt Naruto. She was tired of hurting people...especially people like Naruto, who should never know what hurt was to begin with.

"Uchiha Sasuke didn't tell you…did he?" Ino asked, sending an accusatory glance towards Sasuke.

"I sent you the letter…I didn't think I was obligated to do anything more than that." Sasuke replied, voice detached His voice only held the twinge of slight curiosity as his gaze turned towards Sakura.

Sakura looked back at him, her eyes widened, shaking.

"You insensitive prick! So you just let us come here…barging in on her…you're every bit the bastard you were then, to think I thought you changed…," Naruto hissed angrily, his fist raised warningly.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "I don't recall anything leading you to that conclusion, dobe."

"You…_you bastard_! I should kill you!"

Sasuke smirked, "But you won't—you're a sensitive fool."

Naruto opened his mouth once more, probably preparing to spit out a series of coloruful insults, but Sakura had interrupted them.

"You called them here…didn't you?" Sakura said with something hard in her voice…something unnatural. Something he was sure he had never heard before.

Sasuke briefly entertained the idea of simply walking away. Of leaving her there, left with her bitter past, with faces she both loved and hated, with facing the shell of a person she used to be and not looking back. He could've done it.

But he didn't.

"Yes."

He could tell she was fighting tears, he could tell Naruto and Ino were fighting something far more sinister when they looked at him, their glances angry.

"Why? I…I _trusted _you."

"Because I did it for your own good," Sasuke answered evenly—and looking at his face, Sakura couldn't help but think he made all of this too easy. He made betrayal, anger, hurt, pain…everything look far too easy.

"No," Sakura whispered, something low in her throat, "You did this for yourself. Your own good—this…this has nothing to do with me. You wanted to get rid of me. You thought the helpless little crazy girl living on her own needed taking care of…or maybe you though I'd run after you, and beg you to stay."

Sasuke didn't reply, and Sakura felt that was the worst answer he could probably give. He really didn't trust her. He really thought her worthless, pathetic…completely unreasonable.

Sakura's eyes stung, her lips quivering, "You need to leave…_all of you_."

Naruto and Ino both cried her name out in unison as Sakura left the remaining fractures of her teacup on the floor and bounded towards her room, the door slamming shut with a resounding echo. Naruto stared forlornly at the door, his fist shaking and his eyes narrowed in a menacing glare. Ino looked more disillusioned than anything…but her eyes were just as hard and cold as Naruto's.

Sasuke didn't think he felt much of anything. He had prepared himself before. Maybe even…maybe even thought her reaction would be worse; he honestly expected it to be explosive, angry…but she was oddly calm, clearly sad but not in any loss of control. If anything, that bothered Sasuke the most.

"So I suppose you're leaving then," Ino enquired, her voice oddly calm.

Sasuke nodded, "In a few days…maybe less."

"You shouldn't even be here," Naruto spat, "You should be ashamed of yourself."

"I have nothing to say to you, Naruto," Sasuke replied, "Last I checked this was Sakura's house…and it was her trust I betrayed. Not yours."

"How can you forget…what you did?" Naruto asked his voice shaking and even his entire body. Sasuke looked away, his gaze fixed in front of him.

"I haven't. I've simply moved on," His lips twitched sardonically, "Another betrayal I have to deal with, I guess."

Ino turned to look at him, her lips a hard line. Sasuke realised that Sakura had exaggerated Ino's beauty and maybe even her personality…warm, charming, and inviting. Sasuke smirked darkly then…maybe he was the cause for the glum looking Ino—a girl he hardly spoken to, her face merely a smudge in his mind's eye…but he had irrevocably destroyed something in her. He'd become a master at it. An expert.

"You're not Sasuke," Naruto finally answered, the tone of his voice bleak, hopeless, "You're far too gone. It's all become so easy for you. Hurting people."

Sasuke smiled, not kindly, "It's a matter of practice. When you've done it so many times…it loses its impact."

* * *

They had fitted easily into Sakura's house. Naruto sleeping sullenly on a makeshift bed on the ground, dried tears on a pillow and Ino busying herself in the kitchen, washing dishes and humming a cold, sad tune. Sasuke felt a sick settling in his stomach as he sat outside in the backyard, a coat wound around him, cold air flittering from his lips. It had taken him far longer to fit in her home. It was clumsy at first, messy. Awkward bumping of shoulders, the lack of knowing where anything went…the first few distasteful meals, what with Sakura not knowing his taste and her irritating need to please.

The sliding door behind him had opened, and out came Ino, her face looking calmer but Sasuke could still see the tell-tale signs of discomfort.

"Hello Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke frowned, the way she referred to him sounded oddly uncomfortable. He felt a sharp jab of recognition, Sakura's voice running through his head, saying his name.

He scowled, acting as though he hardly acknowledged her entrance. She sat carefully beside him, a mug between them and one cupped in her hands, the steam fanning her face.

"I hope you don't mind me sitting here," She said primly, blowing softly at her cup, "Naruto's snoring can be distracting."

"It's not my house," He replied gruffly.

Ino smiled, devoid of feeling, "Right. It's not."

A silence fell between them, Ino sipping at her tea, Sasuke staring dead in front of him. He tried to remember her face more clearly during this time, of a little girl with blonde hair.

"I used to like you, did you know that?" Ino asked suddenly, as though she was reading his mind.

Sasuke snorted, "Of course not."

"A lot of girls did and we had these really petty arguments over you," Ino sighed, her expression somewhat bitter, "You were barely there for a week and you enchanted us all. Does a toll on a girl's heart, you know?"

Sasuke glared at her, "You're infatuation isn't my fault."

Ino grinned, "You need to get a sense of humour…but that sort of compromises the whole tortured, angry persona, huh?"

Sasuke scowled at her, "You have a big mouth."

Ino giggled, "Part of my charm. Anyway, why are you still here?"

"I already told you. I'll be a few days."

"That doesn't answer my question though," Ino replied, lips pursued, "It doesn't have anything to do with Sakura does it?"

Sasuke glared at her, darkly, "What are you trying to imply?"

"Nothing at all. I'm just...trying to make sense of all of this," She took another sip of her tea, eyes closed, "You're waiting for her to come out of her room…so you can speak to her."

It was a statement, not a question.

"You don't know what you are talking about. I have things to take care of."

Ino raised her eyebrows, "Such as…wait, nevermind. Stupid question. Anyway, it's fine. I didn't really expect you to tell me anything…I used to be arrogant like that once. Too proud to admit anything at all."

"What changed?" Sasuke thought, but then he suddenly realised he had asked the question aloud.

Changes…far too many had happen to him.

"Sakura happened," Ino replied, smiling wryly, "Oh, and Naruto of course. The changes came at me like a whirlwind…I hardly tend to realise the changes till I'm faced with a mirror of my old self. Little bits and pieces. I don't particularly miss them."

Sasuke stared ahead of him, a part of him trying to block her out—her incessant babbling, so much like Sakura's but more forceful, more direct…with intent. Another part of him was listening intently.

"Trust me," She whispered, "You won't miss your old self at all."

It wasn't hard to notice the implication…and it was doubly hard to try and deny it.

"You haven't touched your tea," Ino grabbed the mug between them, "It's still a bit warm. Try it."

He stared at her, face blank, "No thanks."

"I'm sure it'll be hard to get used too," Ino added, grinning, "What with how great it tastes. Sakura's infamous for her tea—trust me; I was forced to drink it."

Sasuke's lips curved up slightly, "Hn."

"Don't you want to compare?"

With a sigh, Sasuke grabbed the mug from her hands and took a sip, knowing it was the only way to really shut her up. He realised that with her, talking wasn't quite as frivolous, like with Sakura. Not quite as innocent either. She seemed like a darker version of Sakura. Maybe a tainted version of Sakura.

Her tea was just the right taste, just the right sweetness, it would have been the right temperature too if it hadn't been for the cold…perfection, in one word.

Sasuke put the cup back down, and he gave her a deadpanned stare, "I don't think you've gotten ride of that arrogant side you're so proud of purging."

"Oh? Are you sure this isn't really about a conflict of interest?" Ino replied, and a slow smile spread across her lips.

Sasuke merely shrugged, still staring ahead of him.

"She'll be locked up in her room for a day, then she'll be crying for a few hours," Ino folded her arms around her, shivering slightly as a gust of wind came towards them, "Eventually she'll come out and act like she's still angry but by then you can talk to her. That's how it used to be anyway."

"And you're telling me this because?" Sasuke questioned, frowning once more.

"Because it's useful information," Ino murmured, with a shaky smile, "And because you'll apologise for betraying her before you leave. _If _you leave."

"I'll leave," Sasuke promised his voice hard, cold.

"…I wish I could hate you," Ino said, her voice tinted with a hint of sadness, "for all the things you've done to them. I can't though…because I know deep down you don't really mean it. You say a lot of things but it's not hard to realise it's all a lie—a farce. I guess that's why I'm telling you this. Because you're a good person, regardless of what you think."

"A good person?" Sasuke echoed, the words sounding foreign when they left his lips.

"I think that's what Sakura would have told you," Ino said, "Right?"

Sasuke nodded, shrinking into his coat.

* * *

**A/N:**

The aftermath D: Anyway, thank you SO MUCH to **Hitomi** for pointing out that really stupid error! I can't believe I overlooked something like that. Thanks again. As for people's confusion, kukukuku all we be explained. I know Sasuke's half-assed explanation doesn't really suffice but it will be delved into a bit later in the fic…well, maybe next chapter. Again, thank you sooooooooo much for all the great reviews, they do wonders to my inflated ego :D

Please let me know what you guys think of this chapter, especially my experimental thing with Ino/Sasuke. I always wondered how they would interact after Ino's crush and not looking through rosy-coloured glasses :D

Oh, also the quotes in the beginning of chapter officially stopped last chapter :D I'll probably continue them…a bit later, but not for now.


	10. love's not a grave, it won't decay

**The Glass House**

* * *

_love's not a grave, it won't decay on you_

* * *

Sakura was locked up in her room for the day, as Ino predicted. Ino would put a tray of food in front of the door, knocking for good measure but of course Sakura never replied. The tray would be in front of the door a few hours later with an emptied plate—it irritated Sasuke immensely that he still didn't get how she got the tray without any of them seeing it.

But Sakura wasn't locked up in her room for just a day. Another day passed, then two. They were currently on the third-day of Sakura's self-imposed solitude and the knocking urge to call Ino a liar was incessant in Sasuke's mind.

Of course he never said it out loud—calling her a liar would mean he cared about her lying in the first place, and Sasuke would never admit that.

He also knew Ino well enough now to know she'd probably ask him such a question too, with her prim lips in a sly smile and her eyes twinkling knowingly. Ino was about the only person who talked to him lately, although not by his choice. Naruto was steadfast in ignoring Sasuke's existence, glaring at him when he walked by and perching himself in front of Sakura's door, rambling to her (to _himself _really) about how Sasuke was the asshole who did all of this and she shouldn't make him suffer too.

Sasuke was frankly surprised Sakura didn't open the door in guilt after Naruto's wallowing.

Naruto was pretty surprising too—Sasuke had expected annoying babbling and guilt-ridding monologues from his old teammate in regards Sasuke's traitorous actions.

Sasuke wanted to tell himself that it was Naruto's own damned fault for caring so much but that was silly thing to think; all Naruto did was care—even if caring would be his own downfall.

How ironic, that the same thing had happened to Sakura too.

And the common denominator was himself—it wasn't a far stretch to say that he had a factor in this…

…that he was their ultimate downfall.

* * *

"Sakura-chan? You're alive aren't you?"

Ino sighed, "Naruto! If you keep pestering she'll never come out…just give it some time."

"It's nearly been three days; isn't that enough time?" Naruto grumbled, "I hate this. I hate not doing anything."

Ino walked up to the door, gently prying Naruto's hand from the doorknob. She hated this too. She hated the entire situation really and if she was being an emotional ridden plague like she'd ordinarily be, Ino would probably break down the door (which Naruto had tried countless times of course) and demand Sakura to stop being an idiot. But that never worked—it usually angered Sakura more to be forced to do anything and seeing as she wanted them out of her 'home'…she'd probably take extreme measures seeing it through.

_Yet you still seem content in eating my food, eh Forehead? _

"Sakura…is an adult Naruto," Ino cajoled, raising her voice a notch higher or two "So…we should respect her. And give her time. She knows we love her and that we have her best interests at heart…and even if this place is _really, really cold_…we'll wait as long as we have too."

"…and everybody misses her in Konoha," Naruto added, his voice infinitely higher than Ino's, "Konoha's her family too…she didn't lose all of us that day."

Sasuke snorted, and both Ino and Naruto whipped their head in the direction of the sound emitted from Sasuke's mouth. Naruto, predictably, glared menacingly asking Sasuke rather rudely what he was doing here anyway.

"The both of you are fools," Sasuke said, eyes fixed on Sakura's locked door, "Begging does nothing."

"I said what are you still doing here?" Naruto roared ferociously, dangerously looking close to becoming more physical with his short-temper around Sasuke, "This is your damn fault!"

"How many times do you have to ask me that?" Sasuke replied, "It has nothing to do with you—besides, I'll be gone soon."

Before Naruto further drew their exchange into a far more violent realm, Ino piped up airily stating, "You've been here for almost three days since you last told me that."

"What's a few more?" Sasuke murmured, eyes slightly narrowed, "And again it has—

"Nothing to do with me, I know," Ino interjected, "But I'm just a bit curious. I'm sure Sakura is too."

"Last I checked Sakura was ignoring your existence," Sasuke retorted, his jaw tightened, "So how would you know that?"

"You may have lived with Sakura for a couple months but I've known her my entire life."

Sasuke merely glared in her direction and walked out of the hallway and outside the door.

He had walked a long bit till he noticed he left the house with the coat Sakura had given him.

* * *

Sasuke, although he'd never admit it, truly did see Naruto as his equal. He knew it was something Naruto had loudly proclaimed he aspired to be—Sasuke's equal; Sasuke himself never really understood the implication or the need. The question of why always ringed in his head; why would somebody willingly want to be the same as a child deemed mentally fragile, a person who's past was so horrific that the mention of him forcefully living through it for hours due to his brother (the murderer) made people shiver, a boy who only knew blood, death, pain, and the vicious cycle it was.

He had a tendency to be jealous of Naruto at times…of his fierce optimism. He'd called it stupidity more than once but he later on realised that having that much faith (although he thought it akin to a farce, a lie) was true comfort, a blanket to cover up the wounds and the pain. He was jealous of Naruto's bravery…he'd called Naruto a coward many times of course, but Sasuke truly wondered if Naruto was ever paralysed with fear like he had been numerous times in the past. The fear he felt when he met his older brother's menacing stare, the fear he felt when he was told he wasn't normal, the fear he felt when he knew his heart was completely empty…the fear he felt when he had to leave Konoha—into the unknown with a formidable snake.

So of course Sasuke was jealous when he saw Naruto leaning on Sakura's door, legs splayed in front of him and his head slightly drooping. Sasuke wondered if Naruto ever left her door…he was always there. Always—even though she never opened the door, even though she never answered his questions…he was still there, voice never wavering as he coaxed her to come out.

Walking towards Naruto's still form, Sasuke lowered himself a few metres away from Naruto, his head titled against the wall opposite of Sakura's door. Naruto roused quickly, his eyes at first shifting quickly in mild confusion till they hardened with cold realisation of who was sitting in front of him.

"What are you doing here, teme?"

Sasuke shrugged.

Naruto sighed in irritation, adjusting himself on the wall till Naruto's eyes were firmly fixed on Sasuke's.

"I thought you said 'begging does nothing'?" Naruto grumbled grouchily.

"I'm not begging, am I?" Sasuke stated mildly, "Don't try to be smart, dobe."

"You never miss a beat to call me stupid do you?" Naruto questioned, glaring, "Things have changed, you know. If you stuck around long enough…you'd probably see."

Sasuke did see the changes…a part of him even acknowledged it.

"I left," Sasuke said plainly, "so all these changes you speak of fall on deaf ears. I really don't care."

"Fine. I care about Konoha. So does Ino. Sakura does too…I know she does," Naruto replied sternly, "And she'll come back home. Just because you abandon Konoha doesn't mean she has too."

"You don't get it," Sasuke hissed, "It's not about Konoha sometimes. It's not always about abandoning or being a selfish prick…sometimes you don't have any other choice. Sakura's mother died…her family. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you can't understand."

"Shut up!" Naruto spat, eyes wild, "She's nothing like you! Nothing! Don't tell me I can't understand. She's different from you…she cares about Konoha and I'm her family! She knows that."

"But I don't?" Sasuke asked hollowly, "I'm the selfish bastard who simply abandoned, right?"

Naruto scowled, rubbing his neck awkwardly as he warily met Sasuke's cold calculated eyes, "You did leave, didn't you? You left Konoha—you're home. You didn't think they'd make you strong. You didn't even have faith in me to be there. You just left…and…and I don't know about you but you were _more_ than that for me. You were there before Sakura…before I was anything."

Sasuke deliberately turned his gaze away from Naruto, turning his head to the side and just about wiping Naruto's motionless form from his line of vision.

Naruto was naturally oblivious and naive but even he knew he had said far too much.

"I'm doing this for her own good," Sasuke uttered emotionlessly, breaking the silence "Sending her back to Konoha. It's what you want too."

"I know," Naruto replied somewhat hoarsely.

Silence again. For a minute or so, Sasuke simply watched Naruto. He looked haggard, wrought with fatigue but that wilful fire in his eyes was ever present. Sasuke couldn't help but think him a fool, though. Sakura abandoning him? Sakura didn't have the heart to do that. If she really wanted to abandon them she wouldn't have subjected herself to ridiculously cold climate and repulsive neighbours who despised her existence.

If anything, she was abandoning herself. She was being a selfless fool and she was so blinded by betrayal that she didn't see how much this village was destroying her and that he was ultimately helping her.

Naruto was right, he wasn't the old Sasuke. He was far too gone but not in the way Naruto thought.

Sasuke could've simply left and barely spared a thought on Sakura and her foolishness. He didn't need to send a letter, letting his existence be known by a village he had cut ties with long before.

He knew he wasn't very good with emotions but Sasuke wasn't stupid enough to play denial when it was evident he was too far gone.

The door had suddenly creaked open and Sakura emerged, the wetness of her eyes the first thing Sasuke noticed. Naruto jumped up instantly, throwing himself on Sakura as she began to sob.

"I'm sorry Naruto," She breathed in between chokes, "I didn't mean to abandon you—that wasn't my intention…I just couldn't stay…after…"

"I didn't mean it that way," Naruto quickly amended, "I just…I miss you."

Sasuke watched Sakura steady herself, wrapping her arms tighter around Naruto's neck.

"I missed you too," Sakura whispered, "You, Ino…Konoha. I miss it all."

"Then come back," Naruto asked earnestly, gripping her shoulders, "Come back home."

Sakura bit her bottom lip, her arms shakily sliding off of Naruto's neck as she averted her gaze from Naruto's eyes. Her eyes met Sasuke's, and Sasuke resolutely turned away. He couldn't help but feel like he was intruding.

"I…I can't Naruto," Sakura croaked, her throat seizing up against her will, freshly new tears brimming among her lower lashes and burning her eyes, "I can't."

Naruto's brow furrowed, his head shaking aimlessly, "I don't understand…you said you missed Konoha. Why won't you come back?"

Sakura sniffed, "Please Naruto. I can't…I can't go back after my mother was killed. I can't go back after everything. I can't…please…"

"We avenged your mother's death, Sakura-chan," Naruto interjected, his tone soft, "We got him back and…and you're mother can finally rest in peace. She wouldn't want you to suffer this way."

"He…He's dead?" Sakura asked, her voice breaking, "But…but who was it? Why?"

"A rouge Sound criminal," Naruto replied, his fist shaking by his side, "But he's dead now and you don't even have to worry about it. So just come back home…please."

"Naruto," Sakura pleaded, "I'm sorry…you're making this so much harder. But I can't…I'm not ready. I'm not."

Naruto's eyes creased painfully and Sasuke almost wondered if Naruto would start crying. The last time Sasuke saw tears glistening on Naruto's cheeks was when they were twelve, talking about their pains and tribulations…and Naruto told him how empty he still felt despite how much he loved Konoha. The void where his parents were supposed to fill was excruciating.

Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if Naruto cried when he realised Sasuke left for Sound.

"Okay," Naruto said quietly, "I won't…I won't push you anymore. But promise you'll stop crying…I can't take it."

Sakura lamely wiped her tears away as she breathed heavily, "Well I feel horrible, Naruto. I can't help crying either."

Naruto gave a helpless smile, "You'll be okay?"

Sakura nodded vehemently, "I'll be okay."

Naruto eyed her softly, "At least this time I'll get a goodbye. That's a plus."

Sakura laughed despite her despair-ridden face, "I'll see you off tomorrow. I promise."

"It's not forever right?" Naruto asked, despite himself, "I'll see you one day?"

Sakura took hold of Naruto's callused hand and held it firmly, "One day."

Naruto nodded, as though he was appeasing himself more than anything.

"Go to sleep now," Sakura murmured, "You'll need the rest for you trip."

"Right," He breathed, "Goodnight. You too teme."

Sasuke grunted from his position on the hardwood floor. He heard more than saw Naruto's feet shuffling away. Sasuke had expected more tears and sobs, but he supposed they'd be doing that in their respective rooms.

Sakura lowered herself down to the ground right beside him, her body far warmer than Sasuke had expected. Tendrils of her rose-coloured hair lightly tickled his cheek as she bended her legs and pulled them closer to her chest.

"Why are you still here?" Sakura asked flatly.

It certainly wasn't the time or place but Sasuke couldn't help but think she looked rather pretty despite her unkempt appearance. The thought obviously should've disgusted him more than it did, but as Sasuke noted many times before…he was far too gone and he really couldn't bring himself to care.

"Why are you out here?" Sasuke retorted, his tone dry.

"This is my house," Sakura whispered, though the underlying anger was very much evident in her voice, "Uchiha Sasuke."

So she had found out. Sasuke was surprised at how long it took her to figure out his lineage, though he wasn't making much of an effort to hide it. Perhaps Ino's loud declaration of his identity might've clued her in?

"You lied to me," She added, harshly, "You lied about who you were."

"I didn't lie," Sasuke said, coolly, "I simply didn't tell you."

"I remember washing your clothes," Sakura continued, sounding aghast, "And the enigma…it looked so familiar but I couldn't place it. You were barely in class for a week."

"I wasn't mentally fit for Konoha academy."

"So you joined Naruto," Sakura murmured, "And you eventually betrayed him like you just betrayed me."

Sasuke didn't say anything, the silence enveloping them like a cold blanket.

"Why are you here?" Sakura asked again, her whispered words sounding wobbly, "Do you care about me Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke weighed his options. He'd have thought by now it was widely apparent that he did care about her…and that the game of denial he still played was only to appease him and nobody else. What other reason was there? A part of him wanted to say that this house did this too him. He was with her for months, with nobody else and he had no other choice but to grow feelings for the only person he knew. Maybe it was their mutual need for human comfort…maybe it was their mutual fear of being alone. Besides, he couldn't forget the jostling fear he felt when he realised that Sakura would still be in this village when he was long gone---that her life would be on standby helping unappreciative villagers and subjecting herself to willing torment.

Sakura was far too devoted, far too loving…this village would turn her into a monster eventually.

Sasuke turned to look at her, and Sakura's breath caught in her throat. She didn't realise their close proximity—she could even see the tired lines in his face, and how swallow his cheeks became in the last few days.

Maybe Naruto wasn't the only one who needed sleep.

"Yes," Sasuke answered.

Sakura prayed Sasuke couldn't hear the wild beating of her heart, as she stared at him, frozen at his words. It wasn't love…it probably wasn't anything close to what she felt for him but it was something and Sakura had to fight the urge to touch him, nestling her hands in between her thighs.

"I don't understand then, if you care about me," Sakura trailed off, searching for words. She lifted her propped chin from her knees and met his gaze firmly, fighting tears, "If you care about me why would you betray my trust? Why would you bring Ino and Naruto here? I trusted you."

Sasuke said nothing at first. He simply stared at her, trying very hard to understand why he put himself in this position—in front of a girl who loved him. He was still the same jaded, cynical and detached person he always was but for a single moment in his life he put somebody else before him. That was ultimately the reason why he notified Naruto and Ino. He never wanted to see Naruto again—and because he didn't want Sakura alone and eventually mutated into a heartless, empty person (much like himself), he let go of that fear and did it for her.

And maybe in part he did it for himself too. Maybe Sakura symbolised the lasting humanity in himself and for her to be left in this grim village…it was almost like suicide.

"I did it because I care," Sasuke admitted, somewhat awkwardly, "I was helping you."

Sakura stared at him blankly, her hands shaking feebly in between her legs.

"You broke my heart, Sasuke-kun," Sakura whispered, despondently, "You broke my heart. I never got to the point that I didn't want to love you, but I could barely look at you."

"I know," Sasuke said, sighing.

"And now," Sakura continued shakily, "You're putting it back together…you're making me fall in love with you all over again, maybe even more than I ever did. I truly want to hate you for it but…but I don't think you can help it."

Sasuke said nothing. Her words caught him off guard—they were tender, affectionate and far too close to home. He knew he should be used to this sort of thing now, but Sakura's heart was far too big and he didn't think he could ever get used to it.

"I'm not a good person, Sakura."

"No, Sasuke-kun—"

"I'm not," Sasuke insisted fiercely, staring down at her. She quivered under his gaze, her arms wounding protectively around her waist. She looked small beside him, defenceless.

"Do good people go to Sound? For their own selfish gains? Working with a man like Orochimaru?" Sasuke asked, his words scathing, "Do they kill others, do they let their hate blind them of everything else? A good person does that?"

Sakura shook her heard, her eyes watering, her smaller hand reaching pathetically towards him. Her cold fingertips grazed his cheek, eyes earnestly boring into his.

"No! No you're a good person Sasuke-kun. I know it. You are…," She murmured, her head still shaking, her lips quivering, "You are."

Sasuke stared at her, feeling torn. A part of him was overwhelmed; he didn't understand how somebody could have _that much_ faith in him. He couldn't understand how she could stare unblinkingly in his eyes and tell him that he was a good person. How?

And another part of him was disgusted. He had worked Orochimaru—who most likely was acquainted with the man who killed her mother. He had walked, merciless, down a path that no good person ever would. Naïveté was hardly part of it, listening to her, looking at her—Sasuke could only think that she was stupid.

"Didn't you hear what Naruto said? About your mother's killer being part of Sound?" Sasuke muttered his voice still icy, still impossibly cold. He felt her shiver, nodding.

Sasuke glared at the floor, seething, "I was a part of that group. I joined them willingly…that's why Naruto hates me so much. How can a good person be a part of that? And you still love me?"

Sakura stared at her lap blankly. She closed her eyes tightly as she fought the question in her head. He was apart of Sound…he probably knew the man who killed her mother. Sakura barely remembered the tale of the Uchiha tragedy, but she felt her chest wrack painfully at the realisation of what Sasuke truly was.

"Answer me Sakura!" Sasuke hissed harshly, "Do you still love me?"

He could barely hear the whispered yes as she curled into herself, sobbing and shaking her head. Sasuke still sat rigid beside her, watching, almost feeling something akin to pity…something almost akin to remorse.

But it was never wholly that because Sasuke still thought her stupid, still the same foolish girl who believed far too much in everything and anything—including him.

Because the epitome of stupidity was loving somebody like him.

"You should hate me," Sasuke said, almost consolingly, "That would make things easier."

"I _can't_ hate you—I automatically justify everything you do," Sakura insisted, in between hacking sobs, "I think it's so stupid of me.

"It is stupid of you," Sasuke murmured, although his words were void of its usual bite.

"But isn't that what happens when you love somebody?" Sakura whispered, her eyes sober, "It doesn't matter how wrong they are, because in your heart…they can never be imperfect."

Sasuke wanted to tell her that it wasn't true at all. For some, it was impossible to truly love somebody despite their sins—he wanted to tell her that not everybody was like her, caring and forgiving. He wanted to scold her, to tell her that she was being the same idealistic and naïve girl she was from the very beginning.

He wanted to tell her that her heart would be her defeat. To care for somebody like him, to possibly love somebody like him was the stupidest thing she could ever do.

And then Sakura asked him the hardest question of all:

"Isn't that what you do too, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, almost pleadingly, "You always say I do stupid things but…but you care about me. Isn't it the same thing too?"

Sasuke knew it's the same thing. He called her stupid numerous times in the past but in reality he can't help but feel the hard lump of pride in his throat when he realised that her heart is big enough to include someone like him. He called her stupid for staying in this hateful village but all he could see was brimming strength when she resolutely told him she wasn't going anywhere.

"Yes," Sasuke said, his voice soft and gruff, and an almost frown on his lips. Sakura inched closer to him, her warm breath tickling his skin as she lowered herself in the hollow of his neck. She could hear the _thump, thump thump_ of his heart, and she couldn't shake the sheer closeness of the moment and how alive she felt.

"Do something for me," Sasuke said suddenly.

"I thought you said you wouldn't beg?" Sakura asked, almost compelled to laugh, "You gave a lot of grief to Naruto over that."

"I'm not begging," Sasuke answered mildly, "I'm asking for a promise."

Sakura looked up at him, confused, "A promise?"

"Aa."

"What kind of promise?"

"Go back to Konoha," Sasuke began, gravely, "Go back home. There's nothing in this village for you and eventually…eventually it will eat you alive and you'll be nothing like the person you are now—with a heart, with faith and all those things. You'll be…you'll be cold and empty."

"I won't let that happen to me," Sakura placated, her eyebrows furrowed, "I've been here long enough…and…."

"You'll hate me too," Sasuke went on, "You'll be here alone again and you'll despise it…and you'll probably begin to hate me, even if you think you aren't capable of it now."

"I know you won't like my answer," Sakura began, her eyes gleaming, "But I find that fate far more favourable than going back to Konoha."

"I can't let you do that," Sasuke said sharply, "Because…because if I ever see you again and you become that sort of person…I can't…"

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura prompted, her eyes intent on his face.

"Even though I'm going now…I still want to come back. I don't mind coming back if that means you'll still be the same person…and that you'll still be there. If you go back to Konoha I still have some hope for myself."

"What do you plan on doing Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, her voice slightly shaky, "You're scaring me."

"I plan to go kill the murderer of my clan," Sasuke murmured, "But I don't think I have the will to live if I know you're soul died in this village."

"I won't let that happen to me, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said solemnly, "I promise."

"Then go back to Konoha," Sasuke pressed, his hands reaching for her arm and slowly falling to circle her wrist. Sakura looked at her enclosed wrist as her eyes began to well.

"And you promise to come to Konoha too?" Sakura asked brokenly, "For me?"

Sasuke nodded saying, very quietly, "Yes."

"And I'm not going to regret this?" Sakura added, somewhat disparagingly although her other hand raised up to lightly graze his cheek.

In answer, Sasuke kissed her and Sakura immediately moved along with him, wishing she had enough hands to touch his face, his neck, his hardened hands, his hair…everything so she'd really never regret her decision because this moment alone was enough.

Sakura prayed feverishly in that instant that Sasuke would keep his promise and come back to her…because letting her soul decay away in a dark, empty village was hardly akin to the horrifying grief of her soul being shattered into little pieces when he broke her heart once more.

Sakura lifted her head up to breathe, her nose slightly tickling his cheek as he brushed her tousled hair away from her face to lean in on her forehead.

"Don't make me wait long," Sakura breathed, "So I feel useless…and…and pathetic."

Sasuke nodded mutely against her.

"And how about if you don't care enough to come back?" Sakura asked grimly, "What if you stop caring about me? You won't come back then."

"Will you stop caring about me?" Sasuke retorted.

"No," Sakura whispered, words full of conviction, "I wouldn't be able to."

"Then I probably won't either."

* * *

Sakura shivered in her hardly-warm-enough coat, the darkness almost blinding. The sun hadn't even come out yet and Ino was smiling stupidly beside her and Sakura couldn't help but let out a small laugh. It would be just like Ino to feel ridiculously triumphant after she told her she was willing to come back to Konoha. If this had been happening years ago Sakura would be annoyed but she couldn't help but smile softly. Beautiful, charming, talented and proud Ino. Ino who was still her friend.

Sakura couldn't help but wonder why Ino would still be her friend after everything she had done.

"I hope you're not having an angst session, Forehead," Ino chided lightly, although she was grinning, "It'll be a damper on my good mood."

"It's too dark outside for you too be this happy," Sakura retorted, "Bit eerie really."

Ino scowled, "This village is miserable. I have to at least act happy all the time or fall into the depths of rotten self-defeat."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "It's not that bad."

Ino raised an eyebrow, "Really? Nobody smiles here. It's completely weird. But anyway, I'm sure things would be a bit chipper with Sasuke-kun there with you."

Sakura reddened despite herself, "He's lived with me for a couple months…it's barely close to the amount of time I've been by myself."

"I'm surprised he made that much of a difference really," Ino replied, her nose wrinkling, "He fits right in with the great people of this village."

"You didn't get a chance to know him" Sakura said, "He's a good person."

"I don't think he likes me much even though I told him I had a massive crush on him," Ino added airily, "Personally, I was a tad disturbed it didn't inflate his ego into epic proportions."

"You actually told him that?"

Ino pursed her lips, "Of course I did. Why, are you jealous Forehead?"

"Hardly," Sakura scoffed.

"Well, I doubt it's anything to be jealous of," Ino sighed, "He likes you a lot more than me. Said my tea was nothing to be proud of."

Sakura giggled, "I wouldn't take what he says to heart."

Ino narrowed her eye suspiciously, "Yet you look insanely proud of yourself, Sakura."

Sakura simply smiled in response.

"I'm glad you're coming back home, Sakura," Ino murmured, voice full of feeling, "I can't really describe how much."

"I know," Sakura whispered.

Naruto bounded toward them, looking infinitely warmer than Sakura.

"So we're ready?" Naruto asked, unable to cover up the mirth in his voice.

"For fifteen minutes or so now," Ino replied, dryly, "Hey Sasuke?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in response.

"I thought I should let you know that ANBU officials will be coming here. Apparently Naruto and I aren't sufficient enough to ward you off."

Sasuke glared at her, "And you're telling me this now?"

"Well," Ino retorted, hotly, "You were being a pest when I asked you numerous times why you were still here."

"That's none of your business," Sasuke growled, "ANBU coming after me, _is_."

Ino shrugged, "You're a big strong shinobi, I'm sure you'll be okay. You've got hours anyway seeing as you're leaving right now."

Sasuke sighed audibly, "You're more trouble than you're worth."

"Are you going to be okay, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, trying and failing to mask the care in his voice. Sasuke wanted to call him stupid for even entertaining the idea but the conviction in his eyes was sufficient enough to squash the biting response.

"I'll be fine," Sasuke affirmed slowly.

"Thank you."

Sasuke flinched, "For what?"

Naruto shrugged, "For not…for not being a traitorous idiot, I guess."

Sasuke smirked, "You're still an idiot."

Naruto grinned back, "You're still a bastard."

Sasuke turned to look at Sakura, and she was staring back at him…her eyes visibly glassy despite her bangs falling in front of her face. She's blushing too and Sasuke couldn't help but feel a little irked that he wouldn't be able to do that in awhile.

Sasuke pondered whether or not he should be saying something but he felt at lost for words.

Sakura jogged up to him, her hands clasped in front of her and her eyes burning with unshed tears. This was harder than she ever thought it would be. Sasuke watched her as she breathed steadily, eventually meeting his gaze.

And they stared at each other for awhile, Sakura thinking what she should say and Sasuke pondering if it was foolish of him to practically tell her to wait for him.

Eventually, Sakura threw her arms around his waist in a quick _whoosh_, her face nestled in his chest. He could feel her fidgeting as he hesitantly touched the top of her head, his fingers entangling beneath pink strands.

"I don't want this to be the last time I can touch you," Sakura said, her words muffled by the fabric of his jacket.

"I hope you're not crying," Sasuke said brusquely.

"Too late," Sakura breathed, unapologetically. Sasuke could practically feel the heat of her cheeks.

"I should be going back now," Sakura murmured mildly, "And you have to get going too."

"Especially with ANBU trailing after me," Sasuke grunted.

Sakura laughed, although Sasuke wondered if it was as genuine as it sounded—he couldn't help but think she was trying to cover up her shaking shoulders and hoarse voice.

"You can cry you know," Sasuke said gruffly, "I don't mind."

"I don't think I can stop if I start crying," Sakura admitted ruefully, "And that'd be bothersome."

A comfortable silence nestled between them as Sakura inhaled the scent of his jacket—the one that she gave him. Sakura didn't think him taking the jacket with him was remotely romantic but it did fill her chest up in that comforting sort of way. It was nice to imagine him coming back with the same jacket on; worn and used but still intact.

"I really should be going," Sakura said, her voice cracking.

"Aa," Sasuke muttered softly.

"This is not goodbye though," Sakura amended hastily, "It's not."

"Not a goodbye," Sasuke echoed his hand pressing tenderly at the back of her head. He could feel the wetness of her cheeks against his chest.

When Sakura stood up she never turned around once to look back at him. Sasuke thought it was infinitely easier to deal with. He didn't look at it as though she was running away from him—maybe running away from this village, running away from her teacher's painful memory…running away from sadness of their parting…not a goodbye she said, but it certainly felt that way.

He did meet Naruto's gaze however, and they looked broken, jaded but not the look he held when he betrayed him…but as though they (friends, equals…_brothers_) didn't have enough time too. Ino's eyes were solemn and grave, but not because she hated him but because she wished she got to know a different him…a better Sasuke.

He wondered what his eyes looked like. Perhaps a mirror of Naruto's. A mirror of Ino's. Or maybe even the usual cold impassive façade.

He'd probably never get the answer to that.

* * *

**A/N: **

This is not the end of this story :D I promise. I know this was a realllllly depressing chapter but I think kind-of wrapping up the loose ends was good. I'm a nut for angst anyway, I'm not sure why D: I hope it was in character. I kept wondering if I wrote Sasuke a total sap or Sakura a whiny baby…but I tried to be as realistic as possible. And yes, there are a few loose ends…but another chapter or two and this story is complete D In case it wasn't evident…this story was more of a character portrait than anything, not really plot-heavy but focusing extremely on character growth. I hope Sasuke grew in this...same with Sakura.

So anyway, I know this chapter was ridiculously late, not to rehash the same rant over and over but school is a mother D: I doubt any updates till Dec really.

SOOOO REVIEW :D Thank you!!


	11. a staggering heart

_Sometimes I think l have to thank this house and this snowy village._

_I suppose this is where I ask why._

_Well since you asked so nicely Sasuke-kun….it's because if we were anywhere else I don't think you'd like me as much. Or maybe tolerate is a better word._

…

_Living together in this small, old…shed, in this unforgiving snowy village forces us to be together. It's like we're naked from the get-go….and we can't hide anything. _

_Like a glass house._

_Hmm…and yet we're still here. Together._

**The Glass House**

'**a staggering heart'**

It had been ten minutes since she walked away.

Ten minutes.

_Minutes._

And yet, it felt like a tortuous hourglass. Fingers clasped round the thin waist and watching the grains fall, gather, build.

The childlike impatience was coupled with agonizing pain. Every step was like a reminder of tomorrow, of how it'd be more than ten minutes, half a mile. How tomorrow would be a visible distance.

Ten minutes.

That's all it took for her heart to unravel.

* * *

Sasuke found a secluded patch of green almost a day later. The never-ending snow was like a measuring tape for him—determining when it was appropriate for him to take a deep breath and rest.

He felt it was wrong to take a break while he was still in the snowy village.

(_it felt wrong to sleep unless he was in her house_).

It was imprudent of him not to note what the exact name of the village was. He was positive she had mentioned it before, during one of her random ramblings. He obviously didn't pay attention.

He normally didn't.

Sasuke laid down on the grass, back melting uncomfortably in the uneven ground. He sighed, looking at the star-filled sky and recalled her trying desperately to relate. Connect.

_(he avoids thinking her name)._

It was the first time Sasuke didn't need blankets over him to sleep properly. There was a slight breeze but it did nothing but slightly ruffle his hair, chill his cheeks.

(_but he still wound her father's jacket around his body, subconsciously inhaling its scent_).

* * *

Konoha had changed.

It took awhile for Sakura to get used to the lack of snow. Color was abundant and people wandered about without jackets and knee-high boots. And the _smiles_.

The first time Sakura encountered a stranger's smile it had completely frazzled her. Ino had to painfully nudge her side to make her aware of the appropriate response. Initially, her mouth was agape, staring soundlessly at the stranger with a look of horror. The stranger had walked away before she realized her mistake.

"How impolite of you," Ino had admonished, though the rumples on her brow revealed that she was worried.

Sakura tried to shrug it off. "I'm just not used to people smiling at me. Or smiling in general."

Ino nodded resignedly. "That village was gloomy. The weather probably didn't help."

Sakura didn't bother to correct Ino—to tell her that _she_ was the problem. She hadn't the heart to do it. Recalling the hate of the village almost felt like reliving it.

And when Sakura recalled their animosity, she also remembered the one thing that made her sane.

Recalling Sasuke was also painful.

Ino had also shown Sakura old comrades and friends. They all had grown, along with their ninja ranks. Hearing them recall their shinobi tales made her a tad envious and left out. Ino tried to ring back into the conversation numerous times but inevitably she'd be back to shuffling her feet again, staring blankly ahead of her.

It was then Sakura realised that it wasn't Konoha that changed, but her.

* * *

Sasuke found Itachi by accident.

Or maybe Itachi found him. It's better to think of it as an accident, as a mistake rather than a calculated determination from the man—_not aniki_—he hated. From the man that was better and stronger than him.

Itachi's face was cool, body poised. He looked thinner than the last time he'd seen him, which was almost a year ago.

A year ago where he left him broken, tattered and left to crawl from clumped dirt to snow on a lonely girl's front door.

Itachi suddenly coughed, his back bent. It was uncharacteristic to see, shocking Sasuke to the core. The man who had killed his mother, father….who had practically killed him coughing like a human, being susceptible to bodily distractions like anybody else?

Even if Sasuke hated him now, Itachi was always perfect.

From perfect brother to perfect killer.

Itachi raised his head, blood smeared on his lower lip and chin. His thin lips curved into a polite smile.

"Foolish little brother," He intoned, as though he was reading his thoughts.

Sasuke lunged forward.

* * *

Sakura laid her head on her folded arms that were resting on the ledge of Ino's window. The flimsy white curtains flapped against her face, the wind cool. She closed her eyes, drowning out the noise behind her. In her line of vision she saw green, blue and white. She smelled fresh grass and heard trickles of laughter from a child.

It was so different from where she was two months ago. So much better.

And yet, yet she still reminisced. She missed the warm tea, the cold air that would materialize when it escaped her lips, the assorted blankets that were worn by time.

More importantly, she missed who she shared them with.

"Sakura-chan? Sakura-chan!"

Naruto pulled on her folded arm, his worried eyes fixed on her face. She stared back at him, mouth embarrassingly agape. He jolted her out of her reverie. Painfully. Immediately she put on the overworked fake smile, laughing blithely.

"Sorry Naruto, I guess I'm a little sleepy," She yawned for added effect, half-aware of his vacant expression. She couldn't shake the feeling of dread in her stomach. Feeling sad with abandon was something she missed. She hated being a burden and her depressing emotions obviously put a toll on her friends.

"You should go home then," Naruto supplied, shrugging. Sakura realized the damage was already done and Sakura was so tired of it.

"But I don't want to," Sakura lied effortlessly, biting her lower lip, "Everybody's here and…and we haven't been together like this in awhile, right? All of our old classmates and Ino…it's important. It's fun."

Naruto frowned, clearly assessing her jumbled word vomit. Sakura waited with baited breath.

"You don't have to pretend," Naruto replied hollowly, though the conviction was evident. Perhaps he was tired too.

Sakura lowered her gaze, shamefaced.

"If I don't, then I'm just upsetting everybody. I have to be happy," Sakura said, sighing, "I _want_ to happy."

"But you aren't. You aren't happy but it's okay. I understand…it must be weird being back. Konoha is so lively and everybody keeps asking you questions. I get that. But…."

"But?" Sakura echoed lamely.

Naruto shrugged, "But I wonder how long it will be till…till you get better. Happy."

_Till he comes back. Till Sasuke comes back. _

The reason was evident, its reality floating between them like a thick fog. But Sakura wasn't ready to say it. Acknowledge it. Instead Sakura pretended, being comforted by the routine of lying effortlessly, masking her pain.

Sakura pulled Naruto to the mass of friends and comrades. She laughed and smiled. Sakura reassured him, beaming up at him and patting his arm.

But it was evident from his stiff arm that Naruto wasn't keen on playing pretend with her.

* * *

Itachi did not say a word as he died.

Just a sad, grim smile on his face. His lip twitching up a fraction of an inch.

But Sasuke saw a peace in his face. Despite the stoic brother he knew, his demeanor always a deathly calm, Sasuke never saw him look better—even with his cheeks marred with dirt and his chin red with blood.

Sasuke didn't know whose blood.

Killing Itachi was the closest he'd ever been to his brother in years. He saw his eyes clearly for once, realized that he was now taller than him. Years earlier, back when he was an impressionable little boy, Sasuke would dream of this moment.

Of sparring with his brother.

But Itachi took that away too.

Sasuke's fist clenched, the kunai in his fist ripping into his skin and blood smearing on his fingers. His mind was still reeling. His heart still that unmistakable hollow.

Killing Itachi hadn't helped. Sasuke was still empty.

Sasuke was still alone.

Sasuke crouched down; knees bent and face close to his brother's cold one. If his eyes weren't eerily open, you would simply think he was sleeping.

Even in death Itachi had bettered him. Itachi had gotten what he always wanted.

Sasuke wiped his dirty fingers on his ripped trousers and slowly lifted his hand, floating over his brother's open eyes.

He felt Itachi's long lashes against his palm as he slid his hand down Itachi's face. Sasuke lifted up his hand, arm falling limply to his side and admired his work.

Itachi was finally at peace.

And Sasuke got up and went in search for his own.

--

After a few good months at Konoha, Sakura finally got herself a job.

She was working in the Yamanaka flower shop, courtesy of her very good friend Ino and was being paid quite generously despite her lack of experience.

The store itself was wonderful, Sakura couldn't get enough of the aroma filled in the room, all the flowers creating an ethereal smell. Ino's mom was a dream, always poking her head through and kindly helping her when she was a bit slow in counting the change. Her smile was inviting and she made the most delicious cookies that made the store smell impossibly better.

And the customers were wonderful too, always polite and on the ready for friendly conversation. They were amicable when she forgot the names of the more exotic flowers and patient as she fumbled e around as the inexperienced cashier.

They also said_ thank you_, _goodbye_ and _have a nice day yourself_. Sometimes they'd tell her why they were buying flowers, her favourites were the flushing boys, readying themselves to ask their girlfriends _will you marry me_ and they'd shyly produce the ring. Every ring was different but they all seemed perfect.

She didn't like the flowers for funerals. And her chest would always tighten painfully when a daughter, husband, brother or all the inbetweens would pick out fresh flowers to put on a dusty, cold grave.

Ino was there for such a instance, when an elderly man walked in looking utterly refined and picked out beautiful yellow stargazer lilies. He had a sad yet content smile on his face as Sakura shakily counted his change.

"Hello Tanaka-san," Ino said warmly.

Tanaka-san nodded, "Hello to you too Ino-chan. Glad to see a fresh face here."

Sakura lifted her head up jerkily and gave a strained smile. His sunny demeanor completely frazzled her—it went past Konoha's hospitable personality…she just couldn't stomach the fact that this kind old man was buying flowers for his dead wife.

Ino nudged Sakura's side and Sakura quickly spat out the complimentary hello with a flushed face.

Tanaka-san tipped his frayed hat and walked out the door, the swinging chimes ringing loudly in her ears.

"He seems too happy," Sakura murmured glumly.

Ino shrugged and said, "I think he's made peace with it. Maybe dressing up and being optimistic makes it easier to get over, you know?"

Sakura shrugged herself, making her shaky hands busy with the till. She could feel Ino's wary eyes on her so her following words were not a surprise.

"You should go to your mother's grave Sakura."

Sakura smiled sardonically and said, "And get dressed up?"

"No but maybe some flowers," Ino said cheerily but her crinkled eyes revealed the hidden sadness. Had Ino visited her mother's grave?

"I'm not Tanaka-san Ino."

"No…but that's only because you haven't made peace with your mother's death yet", Ino replied "and if you don't feel a smidgen better after you come back, you have full disclosure to rub it in my face and cry as much as you like."

Sakura laughed and already felt her throat clogging up, "I think crying is an inevitability."

Ino smiled brightly, pushed back Sakura's loose strands behind her ear and said, "That's fine too."

Sakura nodded and smiled back brokenly as Ino guided her toward the fresh flower stands and away from the wooden counter.

"I recommend the pink plumerias Haruno-san," Ino quipped, "Unless you have a suggestion?"

"No, they're perfect."

* * *

Sasuke stared resolutely at the closed gates and thought of various, violent ways to get in other than simply knocking.

The expanse of the gates haunted him, it's cold immobility seeming more impenetrable than killing his own brother. He did the latter only a few weeks ago and getting through these gates and entering these doors seemed more improbable.

He had to get in. He _needed_ to get in.

Sasuke barely moved when the gates swung open, creaking periodically and revealing two shinobi with matching folded arms and scowls. Sasuke's eyes automatically veered toward the Konoha village insignia on their headbands. He also took a quick glance at their heated glares.

Sasuke had a habit of forgetting his infamy.

"Uchiha Sasuke?" The bald shinobi to the right called, slowly brandishing a kunai. Sasuke held the urge to roll his eyes as he nodded his head lethargically in answer.

"Why are you here?" The other shinobi asked, his voice sounding oddly offended.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, the answer extremely difficult for his proud self to acknowledge or say…especially to a stranger shinobi.

The shinobi with the kunai suddenly materialized behind him and quickly tied his wrist with a flimsy knot using scratchy rope. Sasuke felt his pride wounded because the pathetic knot was hardly a challenge and the smirking shinobi knew that. Sasuke wanted to go through those gates far too badly to jeopardize his chances by trying to escape.

"I asked why are you here." The other shinobi with splayed orange hair raised his arm and pointed his finger comically in Sasuke's direction. Clearly they were enjoying themselves.

Sasuke hadn't the chance to answer because a too familiar figure had suddenly emerged in his line of vision and completely clogged any thought process Sasuke was trying to desperately form.

* * *

Sakura held the plumerias with all the delicacy of broken glass and put down the bouquet neatly atop her mother's grave.

"Hello Kaa-san."

* * *

Sasuke's surroundings completely evaporated and his eyes were transfixed on the face looming closely in front of him. It was like a day hadn't gone by; the lone naked eye crinkled with slight age still exactly the same.

"Hello Sasuke-kun," Kakashi said cheerily.

* * *

**A/N:** Wooooah, it's been too long. I can't believe I last updated this more than a year ago---anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I figure a single chapter to go, unless the chapter seems too long.

Will update Tuebor and Something of a Convienence fairly soon if everything goes well!


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